Tampa News Force
“Minor Mondays” at gas station liquor stores goes citywide
Land O’Lakes – Tampa – Friday, 2.1.2019What started out as a simple promotion by a Sunoco Gas Station in Wesley Chapel, has gone citywide in Tampa with a new push for “Minor Monday” as a way for gas stations to get rid of all their extra Four Loko’s and spiked seltzers.“Our usual booze crowd clears…
Top Headlines
Breaking News
Governor’s Office Urges Citizens to Remain Calm as Gas Overage Persists
How are you dealing with all this excess gas lying around? ⛽️
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club…
Sports
Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training
When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed…
Cleaning Crews Still Removing Stink From Raymond James Stadium
Avoid the area for the next few days. ⚠️☣️☢️
Arts and Entertainment
Modern Day DaVinci Spends 16 Seconds On Portrait’s Smile
You have to admire the attention to detail! 🎨🖼️
Government
Florida Outlaws Ranting in Your Car Without Recording It and Putting It on the Internet
It’s about time the government got involved in this.
Local and Community
Wilbur Bruceforce of Tampa has discovered a song from the 1980’s that he really likes; “The Final Countdown” by the band Europe from their 1986 album of the same name. “I found it by accident on Spotify. I don’t know, it’s just a good song,” he said. “It’s upbeat, it’s got that ’80s vibe. It…
A woman in Tampa has taken an extremely rare and unpopular stance on one of America’s most beloved traditional institutions: Girl Scout Cookies. “I hate those things,” said Misty Ocean, a fax machine operator at FaxPro, a company that faxes stuff. “Especially Thin Mints,” she said, doubling down for some dumb, unnecessary reason. Asked why…
Tampa Business School has officially become the first university to replace diplomas with digital NFTs during their graduation ceremony. “People are used to getting a piece of paper when they finish their education, but that’s worthless!” Said Dean Marry Lou Basil, Head Administrator of the Tampa Business School. “We teach business here, and nothing is…
Tampa’s Mayor celebrated her upcoming victory in the 2023 municipal elections during a dinner this weekend where she touted her lack of accomplishments to a crowd of supporters. “For the last four years, Tampa has become more expensive, crowded and impossible to get around,” said Mayor Castor to the three people in attendance. “I just…
Tuesday, March 7, 2023 is Tampa’s Municipal Election. This election will secure jobs for City Council members and the Mayor, as well as provide residents a chance to vote on amendments to Tampa’s Charter which means something, I guess. Only 20% of eligible voters participated in the previous 2019 municipal election, so if you don’t…
Michael Manda of Tampa recently went to a magic show in St. Petersburg with the full intention of doing exactly that. “Of course I did,” he said. “I love magic so, so much!” He was driving through St. Pete, taking a sightseeing tour with his wife and mother-in-law when he came across Zubrick Magic Theatre…
No, I’ve got nothing sorry. I couldn’t even pretend to come up with one for this one. I just like when headlines say stupid shit like “This thing could change your life forever.” It never does. Honestly I’m not sure if anything I’ve ever read or heard has changed my life forever. When I was…
A group of scientists from the Nobel-Prize-winning Gentry Labs Organization in Seminole, Florida, have concluded after a months-long experiment, that “the vibe is off.” “Yea, the vibe is just totally off man.” Said Dr. Tren Tinueve. “We’ve just like, we’ve just like been looking at everything and like, its just like, not right, you know?…
In an obvious effort to curry favor with poor, put-upon, tough-as-nails-yet-apparently-thin-skinned Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, Florida Senator Jason Brodeur (R-Lake Mary) has introduced “Senate Bill 1316: Information Dissemination“, which would require any blogger writing about government officials to register with the Florida Office of Legislative Services or the Commission on Ethics. Brodeur, who you may…
Florida governor Ron DeSantis recently discovered the syndicated comic strip ‘Dilbert’, and it has immediately become his favorite. “It’s just so funny! Look at him, with his tie flipping upward. Whose tie does that? Not mine, that’s for sure. Dilbert’s, that’s who! Ha ha ha!” he said, reiterating that he thinks the strip is funny.…