Tampa News Force
White man accused of being white
Mike Claypot of St. Petersburg is recovering from being accused of being white.Claypot, who is white, was discussing popular music with a group of friends who just happen to be African-American because all of their parents just happen to be African-Americans.Amid references to Drake, Chance the Rapper and The Weeknd, Claypot interjected and mentioned that…
Breaking News
Governor’s Office Urges Citizens to Remain Calm as Gas Overage Persists
How are you dealing with all this excess gas lying around? ⛽️
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club…
Sports
Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training
When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed…
Cleaning Crews Still Removing Stink From Raymond James Stadium
Avoid the area for the next few days. ⚠️☣️☢️
Arts and Entertainment
Modern Day DaVinci Spends 16 Seconds On Portrait’s Smile
You have to admire the attention to detail! 🎨🖼️
Government
Florida Outlaws Ranting in Your Car Without Recording It and Putting It on the Internet
It’s about time the government got involved in this.
Local and Community
A Tampa rock and roll band has found themselves banned from playing a number of live music venues following one disastrous gig at Fisherman’s Pub. “It sucks that these places just can’t deal with our realness,” said Antoni ‘Ant’ Antininon, lead singer for Ant and The Aunts. “Censorship is alive and well in Tampa. At…
Wes Grodley of Tampa was recently diagnosed with severe sleep apnea and prescribed a continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) machine. “It’s done wonders for me!” he exclaimed. “Now I’m sleeping soundly all night long which carries with it an abundance of health benefits!” “Plus, I have a much clearer vision of the horrifying things that…
Residents throughout the state of Florida woke up at 4:45am this morning after receiving an alert on their cell phones from the Florida Division of Emergency Management. “THIS IS IT! THE DRAG QUEENS ARE COMING FOR OUR GUNS! BURN SOME MORE BOOKS!!” screamed Tim Wigsworth of Brandon upon hearing the unsettling tone from his phone.…
Following the beautification of Tampa’s most well-driven road, Gunn Highway will soon be rebranded Machine Gun Highway. “We want to keep the spirit of the original name, but commemorate someone more famous,” said Steve Odyssa, the Mayor of Odessa. “This isn’t an official title, no one elected me to this position, I tell people I’m…
Sheila Piddleston woke up the other morning with a strange new affliction: Artificial Intelligence (AI) Hands. “I was messing around with a chatbot the other night because, well, because I’m lonely. That was pretty fun, but I logged off, went to bed, and then I woke up the next morning like… this!” she said, waving…
Tampa News Force’s newest owner, Taylor Swift, is known for being very wholesome and only doing nasty stuff for people she is romantically involved with. So today, we are counting down the best times her wardrobe didn’t comply with her. 5. Early Elbow Reveal Taylor Swift is known for never showing her elbows, a part…
Taylor Swift, famous pop-star and current artist who cancelled her Saturday night performance in Tampa, has become the new owner of Tampa News Force after deciding during the litigation against TNF, that she, “actually really liked it.” And “Thought it was hilarious.” Her new feelings come only days after her initial reaction to an article…
Tampa News Force (TNF) has given up fighting a lawsuit brought by pop superstar Taylor Swift, opting instead to settle the matter out of court. 10 minutes ago, TNF lawyers were fully prepared to battle the multiple Grammy award winner’s efforts to bend the one-time Creative Loafing Best of the Bay winning media outlet to…
Following backlash from some fans over a story run by Tampa News Force (TNF) on Saturday, April 15, claiming that Taylor Swift had cancelled that night’s concert at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa, representatives of Ms. Swift’s legal team visited TNF’s offices this morning. Lawyers from the firm Barrbara, Jeanne, Buffette and Poncianoo came to…
Sandy Callahan of Tampa recently found out that she’s pregnant and the only plan she’s made so far is to name the child after its father. “They traced it back and apparently I got pregnant on January 28th, which was Gasparilla, which I think makes sense,” she said. “It’s not like I remember all the…