Tampa News Force
St. Pete Pier drifts away
The recently re-designed St. Pete Pier, the city’s signature waterfront attraction, has broken free from the shoreline and is drifting out into the Gulf of Mexico.It’s believed to have happened some time last week but nobody’s really sure because nobody was paying attention.“I went for a run the other day along the bay front and…
Breaking News
Governor’s Office Urges Citizens to Remain Calm as Gas Overage Persists
How are you dealing with all this excess gas lying around? ⛽️
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club…
Sports
Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training
When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed…
Cleaning Crews Still Removing Stink From Raymond James Stadium
Avoid the area for the next few days. ⚠️☣️☢️
Arts and Entertainment
Modern Day DaVinci Spends 16 Seconds On Portrait’s Smile
You have to admire the attention to detail! 🎨🖼️
Government
Florida Outlaws Ranting in Your Car Without Recording It and Putting It on the Internet
It’s about time the government got involved in this.
Local and Community
With tomorrow being Good Friday, heading into the Easter weekend, today marks the end of lent, the 40-days beginning with Ash Wednesday during which many Christians observe a period of fasting, repentance, moderation, self-denial, And few are more relieved that it’s ending than Florida governor Ron DeSantis who abstained from using the N-word. “I can…
Pete Wieters of St. Petersburg was punched in the face yesterday for misidentifying the breed of a woman’s dog. “She had a really cute dog and all I did was ask her if it was a Frenchy, a French Bulldog,” he said. “Next thing I know, she clocks me.” “I get that all the time…
Truist Place, formerly SunTrust Financial Centre, a skyscraper office building in downtown Tampa, has been completely rewired to draw power from a previously untapped source of alternate energy: the unused time from microwave ovens in company breakrooms. “What happens is somebody will set the microwave for three minutes to heat up some soup or a…
Laura Floon of St. Petersburg recently conducted an informal survey finding that 82% of single men who go on dates with her have “Pod-casts” they “Really want to focus on”. “It’s amazing, really. I expected the number to be high but that’s ridiculous,” she said. “Has there ever been anything that universally popular with that…
The Haperdeen family, Jacob, Camille, and their two children Rudy and Melton, have decided to avoid the stress of future holidays, by committing suicide as a unit. “Buying gifts, wrapping gifts, driving family from the airport, having those get-togethers with our extended families, it’s just too much!” Said Jacob Haperdeen. “So we’ve agreed, it would…
Yesterday, presumably on thousands of Facebook feeds, some random guy just popped up and started talking to us all like we’re old friends. “Hey guys, what’s up?” he said with an assumed familiarity one might use when addressing people they actually know in real life, before immediately launching into a sales pitch for boner pills…
Following an incident for which a Tallahassee private school’s principal was forced to resign due to parents complaining that a photo of Michaelangelo’s Renaissance masterpiece sculpture of David being shown to students was “pornographic”, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has taken it upon himself to remedy the situation for the benefit of all concerned. “There. All…
Following a 4-0 win over the Detroit Tigers to open the 2023 Major League Baseball season, the Tampa Bay Rays have decided that they’re done for the year. “We had great pitching and defense, obviously. I mean, we shut them out,” said Rays manager Kevin Cash. “Plus, timely hitting with power. You really can’t ask…
Tomorrow, March 31, is International Trans Day of Visibility and very few people in Tampa Bay have plans to observe the occasion. While local Trans residents plan to march for increasingly limited rights, most residents will be having board game nights or going to Karaoke or doing cocaine in the bathroom of a bar you…
During a House civil justice subcommittee meeting last Monday in Tallahassee, state Representative Will Robinson Jr. (R) read names of supporters and opponents into the public record, two of which caused people on the internet to both LOL and ROFL. Those two people, Anita Dick and Holden Hiscock don’t understand or appreciate the laughter and…