Tampa News Force
Top Headlines
Breaking News
Governor’s Office Urges Citizens to Remain Calm as Gas Overage Persists
How are you dealing with all this excess gas lying around? ⛽️
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club…
Sports
Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training
When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed…
NFL Officially Designates New Position
After years of contributions from lovable big guys, the National Football League (NFL) has designated Lovable Big Guy (LGB) an official position effective immediately. A template perfected by William “Refrigerator” Perry of the Chicago Bears in 1985 of oversized defensive linemen being used in certain offensive situations has been adapted by various teams over the…
Arts and Entertainment
Modern Day DaVinci Spends 16 Seconds On Portrait’s Smile
You have to admire the attention to detail! 🎨🖼️
Government
Florida Outlaws Ranting in Your Car Without Recording It and Putting It on the Internet
It’s about time the government got involved in this.
Local and Community
US Senator from Florida and rejected Star Wars droid prototype Rick Scott spent Thursday making care packages with The United Service Organizations Inc., better known as the USO, a nonprofit-charitable corporation that provides live entertainment, such as comedians, actors and musicians, social facilities, and other programs to members of the United States Armed Forces and…
With the Tampa City Council debating the merits of enforcing an ordinance that criminalizes skateboarding in the City of Tampa, with $75 tickets for skaters who ride in certain parts of the city, a private merchant has proposed a solution to the controversial measure. “We’re going to own and operate a skate park right downtown”,…
Some random dude opened for rapper, songwriter, and record producer Kendrick Lamar, frequently cited as one of the most influential artists of his generation, at a concert last night at Amalie Arena in Tampa. The guy directly called the arena yesterday and asked to open for the 14-time Grammy Award winning artist in town as…
Following a successful Gun Buy Back event, the Tampa Police Department announced that they will be donating all the weapons they collected to the Amish community down in Sarasota. “Don’t think of it as us taking guns off the streets; we’re just putting them on streets that are traveled by horse-drawn buggies instead of cars,”…
As many of you know, the US government began experimenting with the CARDI Program in the late 1980s, CARDI being short for Computerized Ass Revolving Dance Intelligence. While the original CARDI droid, Cardi A, was released in 1989 and received some success in in dancehall and Cardi C (1995) had a few memorable hits in…
Agricultural Commissioner, Nikki Fried, pathetically gathered a small and unnoticeable cluster of people to complain about her leftist talking points. “Florida could really use some legal weed right about now,” said Fried to her supporters. “I don’t understand it. All these old ass people come to this state to die, and they don’t want to…
Following the Burger King Fighting Challenge that occurred last night at the Burger King at 7450 E. Hillsborough in Tampa, the location’s manager said that there were no winners. “It’s safe to say nobody won”, Keith Dunkirk said. “Because they were all losers.” “For starters, the brawl began when a customer got fries instead of…
Nut Cracker Factory The Nut Cracker Factory on Westhore and Himes boulevard offers patrons the opportunity to crack as many nuts as their hearts desire for only $9.99. You can bring your own nuts, or for varying prices you can purchase nuts at the facility Bayfront Park Bayfront Park down Nutnut Cove Parkway is home…
Local chef, Andrew Washburn, has opened a hip new restaurant in the heart of Ybor called the Historic Gaslight Cafe. The location is somewhat of a challenge to find, though, as the sign out front appears to be for a typewriter store. Nestled in a dark, poorly lit alley with a rusty chain-link fence which…