Tampa News Force
Bill Gates: I am going to microchip every black person in America!
During a press conference at his secret science facility in Downtown Tampa, Microsoft Founder and billionaire philanthropist Bill Gates, announced that he alone designed and released COVID-19 with the hopes that it will spread from China and infect every man, woman and child around the globe so that he could then cure everyone with his…
Breaking News
Governor’s Office Urges Citizens to Remain Calm as Gas Overage Persists
How are you dealing with all this excess gas lying around? ⛽️
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club…
Sports
Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training
When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed…
NFL Officially Designates New Position
After years of contributions from lovable big guys, the National Football League (NFL) has designated Lovable Big Guy (LGB) an official position effective immediately. A template perfected by William “Refrigerator” Perry of the Chicago Bears in 1985 of oversized defensive linemen being used in certain offensive situations has been adapted by various teams over the…
Arts and Entertainment
Modern Day DaVinci Spends 16 Seconds On Portrait’s Smile
You have to admire the attention to detail! 🎨🖼️
Government
Florida Outlaws Ranting in Your Car Without Recording It and Putting It on the Internet
It’s about time the government got involved in this.
Local and Community
Tampa Couple Makes Mashed Potatoes for Trunksgiving
Bob and Carol Tednalice of Tampa, inspired by how much fun they had this year with their first time participating in Trunk-or-Treat, the Halloween tradition where participants decorate their cars’ trunks with Halloween themes and pass out candy to children, are hoping to continue the fun with Trunksgiving. “We had heard of Trunk-or-Treat but didn’t…
Linda Ech of St. Petersburg met a group of her neighbors out caroling with scorn and derision, sending them home feeling terrible about themselves. “People are going to call me a Karen or a Grinch, and that’s fine, if you’re not above petty name calling,” said the professor of music history at St. Pete Junior…
Valerie Brun, who lives in the VM Ybor neighborhood of Tampa, is severely aggravated that the weather is hampering her annual enjoyment of her favorite footwear: cute boots. “This is ridiculous,” she said in an exasperated manner, gesturing to all of the outdoors. “It’s supposed to be Christmas time and it’s 85 degrees out. That’s…
There comes a time in every person’s life when they have to either be honest with someone and tell them the truth, even if it’s going to hurt them. With these tips, you won’t have to worry about hurting them or being honest. 5. Talk to them as if they were a child Children don’t…
The Tik Tok Twin rappers FlyyySoulja and @KodiyakRed better known as “the Island Boys” will be closing out this years Gasparilla Music Festival. “This is a terrible idea, and I don’t think anyone is going to be happy about it.” Said Bredd Evans, Presidents of the Gasparilla Music Festivals’ booking committee. “It was decided without…
There are only a couple of shopping days until The Big Day. No doubt you have people in your life who say YOU are all the gift they would ever want. And no doubt they mean that sincerely, but there are gifts and then there are GIFTS. So exactly what kind of gift are you?…
With reported cases of COVID-19 more than doubling in the state of Florida last week, speculation is rising that the return of certain preventative restrictions might be necessary and imminent. Regardless, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis said that one event that will definitely not be postponed or cancelled is his self-congratulatory victory tour. “I did it,…
YouTube boxer Jake Paul has officially become the 600th man in Tampa history to knock out another man on a Saturday night according to public police records on violence in the city. “There have been 599 arrests regarding violent disputes which included one party being knocked unconscious on Saturday nights in the Tampa area, and…
Piccolo, a Corgi who lives near Oldsmar, has decided that Christmas is pretty good. “I can’t speak for all dogs, but I think it’s nice”, he said. “I know some dogs hate wearing the goofy outfits and that there is a lot of noise and commotion, which can cause anxiety. I get that and I…
As the sex trafficking trial resumes for Jeffrey Epstein’s associate Ghislaine Maxwell, photos connecting Maxwell to other people of great public prominence are being brought to light. These recently uncovered photos have connected Maxwell to everyone from the Queen of England, Steve Jobs’ widow, and even some random woman from Tampa. Sarah Fukdup, 26, received…
Good News, Gourmands! A new restaurant, The Crusted Tripe & Busted Pipe has debuted in Ybor City on the corner of 15th St and Ninth Ave, making it Tampa Bay’s first and so far only 100% flooded restaurant. No longer do fine diners looking for the classic “flooded restaurant date” have to go to Orlando,…