Tampa News Force
Physician offers tips on how to talk to children about Covid-19
“This is a very confusing and stressful time for everyone. Imagine experiencing at as a toddler… There are ways to help them through this.”
Breaking News
Governor’s Office Urges Citizens to Remain Calm as Gas Overage Persists
How are you dealing with all this excess gas lying around? ⛽️
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club…
Sports
Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training
When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed…
Cleaning Crews Still Removing Stink From Raymond James Stadium
Avoid the area for the next few days. ⚠️☣️☢️
Arts and Entertainment
Modern Day DaVinci Spends 16 Seconds On Portrait’s Smile
You have to admire the attention to detail! 🎨🖼️
Government
Florida Outlaws Ranting in Your Car Without Recording It and Putting It on the Internet
It’s about time the government got involved in this.
Local and Community
The city of Tampa was recently honored as the best city to live in without a home in the latest issue of Homeless By Choice magazine. “I worked two full time jobs that payed the minimum wage for almost eight years without a day off,” said Wally Robbins, a young able-bodied person with mental health…
The corpse of the terrorist leader behind the 9/11 attacks washed up onto Clearwater beach Saturday morning, causing a stir amongst beach-goers. The body was easily identifiable from the bullet wound, and the unique look and size of the carcass. The body was found when a little boy walking down the beach cried, “Mommy! Mommy!…
Studies from various universities are suggesting that young, impressionable children under the age of 10, aka “Gen Whatever Comes After XYZ”, have little to no confidence in the time-honored institution of journalism. “I always wanted to be an investigative reporter my whole life,” says Basil Wreathburn, whose whole life will be eight years in February,…
Tampa News Force writers are all poop. Me too. I am poop. This is not a hack. We are poop people writing poop articles, mostly about poop and poop-related topics. In the beginning when I was the Mayor of Tampa, I mean when the great Bob Buckhorn was the Mayor of Tampa, Tampa News Force…
The popular brewery/restaurant/museum on Tampa’s famous Riverwalk, Ulele, has been asked to remove another giant statue they placed on their lawn without a permit. “It’s art,” says owner of Ulele, James Sumfukboi. “We like having art on our lawns, but for some reason the city doesn’t seem to like anything we leave out there.” The…
Tampa News Force has been hacked by unknown persons posting rude and lewd things which do not line up with he morals of the Tampa News Force organization. They’ve said things that we would never say, because while we write satire, there is a line, and we consciously choose not to cross it. That line…
Did ya’ll hear about that? The pussy that stank so bad the guys’ dick fell off? It’s true. He was gonna have sex with her, when all of a sudden he went down to catch a whiff, and it was totally rank. Swear. Dude was like, “Nahhh I’m good, I don’t want your pussy no…
In a shocking discovery, a Taco Bell security camera caught Rick Scott behind the establishment, laying in a dumpster, tonguing the inside of what appears to be a recently used Fleshlight. Who used it and at what time is undetermined, the security footage only captured the moment Senator Scott crawled into the dumpster, then pulled…
Players from the Tampa Bay Lightning and Buccaneers have come together and formed a trial NBA team in hopes to get a bid from a potential owner. “If we can raise enough money and awareness to our talent, we could potentially bring an NBA team to the city of Tampa.” Said Kevin Jenkins, Captain of…