Tampa News Force
Rick Scott Invited to Throw Out Ceremonial First Illegal Immigrant
In what is largely a conciliatory gesture for being the only Florida weirdo not being considered for a cabinet position with the incoming Trump presidential administration, Florida Senator Rick Scott has been invited to throw the first illegal immigrant out of the country as part of the presidential inauguration on January 20.“We appreciate Rick’s loyalty…
Top Headlines
Breaking News
Governor’s Office Urges Citizens to Remain Calm as Gas Overage Persists
How are you dealing with all this excess gas lying around? ⛽️
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club…
Sports
Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training
When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed…
Cleaning Crews Still Removing Stink From Raymond James Stadium
Avoid the area for the next few days. ⚠️☣️☢️
Arts and Entertainment
Modern Day DaVinci Spends 16 Seconds On Portrait’s Smile
You have to admire the attention to detail! 🎨🖼️
Government
Florida Outlaws Ranting in Your Car Without Recording It and Putting It on the Internet
It’s about time the government got involved in this.
Local and Community
Andy Prelwitz of Seffner has launched a new social movement that seeks to promote and elevate the achievements and interests of Caucasian people. “Am I a White Supremacist? Ha ha! Heck no! Far from it,” he said. “If anything, I’m a White Prettygoodacist.” “Am I saying that Michael Jordan isn’t the greatest basketball player of…
Failing to heed a warning from Jamie Gooch of Troy, Texas, a family in West Tampa now has Rick Scott infesting their home. “A worst case scenario is: you unleash hell on your kids and in your home,” said Ms. Gooch, referring to ‘Hocus Pocus 2,’ the sequel to the cult Disney favorite currently streaming…
After a 5-1 vote by the Hillsborough County School Board back in June to drop the “Chiefs” mascot from Chamberlain High School in response to a request from the Title VI Native American Parent Advisory Council, a new name and logo has been chosen; from now they’ll be known as the “Storm”. To the surprise…
Rance Renaud, the world renowned head chef at Tampa’s swank eatery Chez Gaufre in South Tampa, likes to pop in after hours and serve as a line cook at the Waffle House at 4459 W. Hillsborough once in a while. “It feels good to get back to my roots. It calms me,” said Chef Renaud.…
After watching the World Axe Throwing League (WATL) on cable television, a long-dormant glimmer of hope for becoming a professional athlete someday has been awakened within Kevin Thwort of Brandon, a man for whom any realistic chances of that ever happening died many, many years ago, if they ever existed at all. “You know, when…
For many people, being buried alive is their most terrifying nightmare, a fate worse than death that eventually results in death. We wouldn’t wish that on anyone, just like how no one would wish it on themselves. But hey, it could happen to any of us and if it did, wouldn’t it be a good…
Local personal injury attorneys are ready and able to assist Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady and his soon-to-be ex-wife Gisele Bündchen as they begin preliminary steps to dissolve their marriage. “Now is the time to come to the aid of people who so desperately need it,” said John Morgan. “Of course I’m talking about…
Tampa International Airport is acclaimed throughout the world for simply being an excellent airport, but now they’ve added an accolade for their contribution to the world of public art; a 2022 Creative Loafing Best of the Bay award! Originally chosen as a Creative Loafing staff choice award under the whimsical category, “BEST BIG BIRD”, the…
Having been released nearly three weeks ago on Netflix, the global streaming platform has announced that the series is due to be rebooted and that Academy Award winner Jamie Foxx will portray the notorious serial killer in the new version. “I think that’s great,” said Blanche Pastee of Temple Terrace. “He’s talented. He won an…
Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady’s estranged wife supermodel Gisele Bündchen was reportedly seen twerking at popular Ybor City nightspot Club Prana last Saturday night. “Yeah, I was there and I saw the whole thing,” said frequent club goer Wayne Klumner of Tampa. “I was like, ‘whoa, who is this little hottie?’ and it was Gisele.…