Tampa News Force
St. Pete woman dating Leo!
Hollywood super duper star Leonardo DiCaprio, stung by recent criticism of his tendency to date much younger women, has found himself a new boo thang in 87-year-old Estelle Gardenschwartz of St. Petersburg!“Yeah, I’m sick of all that shit,” he said. “So this ought to shut people up.”“Because this chick is old!” he added unnecessarily.“I figured…
Breaking News
Governor’s Office Urges Citizens to Remain Calm as Gas Overage Persists
How are you dealing with all this excess gas lying around? ⛽️
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club…
Sports
Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training
When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed…
NFL Officially Designates New Position
After years of contributions from lovable big guys, the National Football League (NFL) has designated Lovable Big Guy (LGB) an official position effective immediately. A template perfected by William “Refrigerator” Perry of the Chicago Bears in 1985 of oversized defensive linemen being used in certain offensive situations has been adapted by various teams over the…
Arts and Entertainment
Modern Day DaVinci Spends 16 Seconds On Portrait’s Smile
You have to admire the attention to detail! 🎨🖼️
Government
Florida Outlaws Ranting in Your Car Without Recording It and Putting It on the Internet
It’s about time the government got involved in this.
Local and Community
Tampa Couple Makes Mashed Potatoes for Trunksgiving
Bob and Carol Tednalice of Tampa, inspired by how much fun they had this year with their first time participating in Trunk-or-Treat, the Halloween tradition where participants decorate their cars’ trunks with Halloween themes and pass out candy to children, are hoping to continue the fun with Trunksgiving. “We had heard of Trunk-or-Treat but didn’t…
Saturday Night Live star and Machine Gun Kelly’s friend, Pete Davidson, has begun dating every single person in Tampa, men and women. “Yea, having 387,915 people I’m dating right now is pretty cool.” Said Davidson You can see him carousing through town and you can download the PD app to know when your turn is…
5. She’s a bitch Nobody likes her, your friends don’t, you don’t, it’s obvious to yourself and the world around you that she’s a drag and you gotta kick her to the curb. Easy choice. 4. She sucks She sucks, it’s not a good time being around her, get out of there. 3. She stole…
Slots are the best form of gambling. That’s been determined long ago with the Big Bang theory. Random things happen, big and small, and everything on earth is left up to chance. Slot machines are random. Stacked against you. Just like the world. All you have is your luck and faith. “It will hit. It…
Skydiving has been an elitist sport for many years, but a brand new social app is set to tear down those walls and transition us into an era of skydiving in the mainstream. That’s right, this small yet feisty group of developers and engineers have cracked the code to Big Skydiving’s biggest roadblock. Anyone who…
Citing the fact that they have been around since before the US government was formed, a coalition of alligators have announced their plans to open one of the most lawless casinos in Florida. “GRRHHHHHHH,” grumbled one of the hungry-looking alligators during a recent press conference. Along with every kind of regular gambling that is currently…
A Tampa man is being recognized for his efforts after going an entire week without texting his ex girlfriend. “It’s super hard, and every day is brutal, but I’m doing it!” He said to me in confidence. “You’re not going to write about this are you?” He asked. “Of course I am, this is a…
The New York Yankees have announced that the manager of their class-A affiliate, the Tampa Tarpons, for the upcoming 2022 season will be Rachel Balkovec, making her the first woman to manage on a full-time basis in professional baseball. Previously, Balkovec served as a hitting coach in the Yankees organization, beginning with the 2020 season.…
Elton John When it comes to heterosexuality, few people do it better than Elton John. With bright-colored outfits which remind you of neon signs outside of a titty bar, he dresses to impress. Men and women. Everyone is impressed by his style and grace, which gives him the infinite opportunity to demonstrate his heterosexuality by…
Jon Jacobs, a stand up comedian that has been performing in the Tampa Bay Area for over one and a half decades is calling it quits. “It’s just not working out for me.” Jacobs said, smoking on a very low cigarette he picked up off the ground. “Nothings worked out for me, I’m not getting…
Tequila This is one of the best liquors to have before you have sex because it’s a stimulant as opposed to all other alcohols which are depressants. This shit gets you jacked! Get super hard and pumped and generally excited with this awesome liquor. Water It’s actually very beneficial to drink water before you make…