Tampa News Force
Tampa woman will name baby after father
Sandy Callahan of Tampa recently found out that she’s pregnant and the only plan she’s made so far is to name the child after its father.“They traced it back and apparently I got pregnant on January 28th, which was Gasparilla, which I think makes sense,” she said. “It’s not like I remember all the details…
Top Headlines
Breaking News
Governor’s Office Urges Citizens to Remain Calm as Gas Overage Persists
How are you dealing with all this excess gas lying around? ⛽️
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club…
Sports
Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training
When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed…
NFL Officially Designates New Position
After years of contributions from lovable big guys, the National Football League (NFL) has designated Lovable Big Guy (LGB) an official position effective immediately. A template perfected by William “Refrigerator” Perry of the Chicago Bears in 1985 of oversized defensive linemen being used in certain offensive situations has been adapted by various teams over the…
Arts and Entertainment
Modern Day DaVinci Spends 16 Seconds On Portrait’s Smile
You have to admire the attention to detail! 🎨🖼️
Government
Florida Outlaws Ranting in Your Car Without Recording It and Putting It on the Internet
It’s about time the government got involved in this.
Local and Community
Tampa Couple Makes Mashed Potatoes for Trunksgiving
Bob and Carol Tednalice of Tampa, inspired by how much fun they had this year with their first time participating in Trunk-or-Treat, the Halloween tradition where participants decorate their cars’ trunks with Halloween themes and pass out candy to children, are hoping to continue the fun with Trunksgiving. “We had heard of Trunk-or-Treat but didn’t…
Today is a Veterans Day, the annual federal holiday during which we pay tribute and give thanks to all American veterans who served their country honorably during war or peacetime. But why should those pampered Nancies get all the huzzahs and hallelujahs? That could just as easily have been you, if not for your lack…
If it seems like every single one of us is just one dumb remark from getting “cancelled”, there’s a very simple and logical explanation for that: WE ARE!! NONE OF US ARE SAFE!!! You can’t say anything anymore! GOD!! Not only that, you can’t even have said things 20 years ago when you could say…
The city of Brooksville in Hernando County, originally named after a pro-slavery to the point of being physically violent South Carolina senator named Preston Brooks, has decided to change its name to Gosarville, in honor of anti-immigrant to the point of pretending to be physically violent Arizona congressman Paul Gosar. “For years, people – mostly…
Mark Chapel, a clerk at United Business Logistics in downtown Tampa, has declared that the microwave oven in the company’s break room is “way too fucking hot”. “Jesus Christ, this is fucking ridiculous! Fuck!!” He yelled, upon taking one bite of some re-heated pepperoni pizza he had brought in from home to eat for lunch.…
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will star in a new film being shot in Tampa, about Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. “It’s the story of how I singlehandedly saved Planet Florida”, he said. “It’s called Doontz!” “He’s mispronouncing the title, but yeah”, clarified Joe Hambrush, one of the film’s writers and producers. DeSantis went on to excitedly…
For centuries, parents of unattractive children have struggled for a solution to their plight. Now KidWrap, a new company out of Brandon has come along with what may be the solution! “It’s pretty simple, really,” said owner Brad Floont. “Much like wrapping a motor vehicle, which consists of several huge vinyl decals that are applied…
Thanks to a multimillion-dollar deal between the state tourism marketing agency Visit Florida, and The Michelin Group, restaurants in Tampa can now qualify to receive one of the world’s most coveted prizes. Founded in France by a bunch of dudes who were really picky about cheese, Michelin stars have become the best way for restaurants…
Andrew Gilverstench of St. Petersburg is seriously upset about the recent announcement that Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande are set to play Elphaba and Glinda in the film adaptation of the popular Broadway musical “Wicked”, even though he’s never had any interest in ever seeing it. “What?!?”, he said. “No! No! No! No! No! No!”…
A recent spate of online food orders has resulted in a mental health counselor visiting the home of Tampa’s Johan Philippi. “Totally unnecessary”, he said. “A person can’t enjoy the luxury of having food delivered to them at home without signaling a cry for help?” “In certain cases: no”, said Kathryn Helpself, a counsellor with…
Thanks to the abomination of a film that is the movie Lightyear we are are going to get an animated film about the “real life” Sherriff that inspired the toy of Woody. And it’s going to be great and all the dramatic, probably voiced by like Paul Rudd or something. Woody catches a bad guy…