Tampa News Force
Brooksville residents line up to view Limbaugh mic
Residents of the Hernando County town named after one of America’s greatest racists began lining up to see the now-historic artifact early this morning. The queue stretched past the Florida Cracker Trading Company all the way to the Hernando Heritage Museum, which, surprisingly, is not the same thing as the Florida Cracker Trading Company.
Top Headlines
Breaking News
Governor’s Office Urges Citizens to Remain Calm as Gas Overage Persists
How are you dealing with all this excess gas lying around? ⛽️
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club…
Sports
Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training
When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed…
Cleaning Crews Still Removing Stink From Raymond James Stadium
Avoid the area for the next few days. ⚠️☣️☢️
Arts and Entertainment
Modern Day DaVinci Spends 16 Seconds On Portrait’s Smile
You have to admire the attention to detail! 🎨🖼️
Government
Florida Outlaws Ranting in Your Car Without Recording It and Putting It on the Internet
It’s about time the government got involved in this.
Local and Community
Tampa Information Center – Hillsborough County – Saturday, 6.8.2019 The Florida Department of Transportation (FDOT) held a community meeting today to announce a new transportation initiative to cure Tampa’s Interstate 275 bottleneck and malfunction junction. “We’ve noticed that a lot of historic buildings, low-income housing and hipster-type restaurants are still up along the sides of…
Raymond James Stadium – Hillsborough County – Friday, 6.7.2019 The WWE has officially announced that it will host its first ever nude pay-per-view event at Raymond James stadium. All the wrestlers will be completely nude the entire night, body-slamming and pile-driving with an intimacy like never before. “It was a natural progression on our part,”…
Tampa is a city that gives everyone the chance to live the life they have always wanted, with no criticism. If you’re going to lie about your identity while you’re hanging out in Tampa, definitely do it at one of these places: 5. Strip Club These women don’t know you, they don’t know what you…
Ybor City – Hillsborough County – Wednesday, 6.5.2019 Citing an extensive list of breweries and craft distilleries within driving distance from each other, Drink Time Magazine has named Tampa the best city in the world to get black out drunk. “I’ve gotten pretty messed up in plenty of towns, especially around Florida,” said Drink Time…
Tampa News Force Headquarters -Hillsborough County – Wednesday, 6.5.2019 In an unprecedented move, Tampa News Force has bought the Disney Corporation straight out with cash during a mob-style meeting that lasted about 30 minutes in the Deltona airport. “Let’s just say I had some compromising material against them!” Said Tampa News Force Shadow Owner, David…
Pensacola Town Hall – Escambia County – Tuesday, 5.4.2019 While leaving a town hall today, Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz was pelted by supporters with water ballons full of human and pig semen. “Any regular person who receives this kind of treatment would be outraged,” said Gaetz while licking some of the semen off his face, “But…
Tampa Science Center – Hillsborough County – Tuesday, 6.4.19 Around 9pm last Friday night at the Tampa Science Center, local bioengineer technician Will Thrust discovered a potato. “I found a potato,” said Thrust. “He did,” said his lab partner, fellow chemical radiographer, Jet Presley. “We were walking out back, when Will tripped over something.” “Yea,”…
Woodland High – Hillsborough County – Monday, 6.3.19 A Hillsborough County teacher accidentally dropped a firearm in class today, shooting a student who turned out to be a school shooter. An 11th grade geometry teacher at Woodland High was in the middle of his third period lesson when his 44. Magnum dropped from the holster…
There are many times in life where we all need to learn to shut the fuck up, but today we want to go over the top 5 places that specifically call for people to shut the fuck up. 5. Comedy Shows If you’re at a comedy show, shut the fuck up. It’s not your time…
Key Largo – Monroe County – Saturday, 6.1.2019 Remember Luke Halpin? Neither do we! Anyway, here’s a picture of him. Luke Halpin was evidently in the hit TV show, Flipper. Apparently this is supposed to make me feel old, but honestly, I already felt old for watching a black and white TV show growing up. …