Tampa News Force
Man caught putting stickers on eggs at Publix
A man was spotted placing stickers saying “I DID THAT” with a picture of President Joe Biden on them on cartons of eggs at the Publix grocery store at 2724 W. Hillsborough Avenue in Tampa yesterday.“Hey, get out of here! You can’t do that!” said a grocery bagger at the store.“Why the hell not?” asked…
Top Headlines
Breaking News
Governor’s Office Urges Citizens to Remain Calm as Gas Overage Persists
How are you dealing with all this excess gas lying around? ⛽️
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club…
Sports
Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training
When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed…
Cleaning Crews Still Removing Stink From Raymond James Stadium
Avoid the area for the next few days. ⚠️☣️☢️
Arts and Entertainment
Modern Day DaVinci Spends 16 Seconds On Portrait’s Smile
You have to admire the attention to detail! 🎨🖼️
Government
Florida Outlaws Ranting in Your Car Without Recording It and Putting It on the Internet
It’s about time the government got involved in this.
Local and Community
A series of lawnmower races at Curtis Hixon Park ended in major fines for the city, as damage done from the lawnmowers is estimated to cost tax payers upwards of $600,000. Clive Bernard, the organizer of the “Rough N’ Tumble Lawnmower Races Derby,” claimed that it was the cities fault for not adequately preparing the…
The affiliates in charge of Chick-fil-A’s charity giving fund have announced that they will no longer be donating to organizations that are Anti-LGBTQ. Instead, the company announced their devotion to the Church of Satan and are moving forward with plans to give $0.10 out of every sandwich sold to Lucifer worshippers, as well as organizations…
In an effort to help young men hate women “correctly”, University of South Florida is offering a course in Misogyny. “The political climate in the past few years has made it not only easier but necessary to hate women, so a lot of young fellas are already conditioned and proficient,” says professor Jay Dribbler. “But…
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers, their star quarterback Jameis Winston and every team the Buccaneers play have come together to launch a new charitable initiative: INTs 4 INfanTs. From now on, every time Jameis Winston throws four interceptions in a game, the Buccaneers will purchase a perfectly healthy newborn baby and award it to a lucky…
Publix announced today the creation of a new Pub-Sub in honor of the Buccaneers quarterback who famously stole crab legs from one of their locations. “The Winston Interceptor will feature 18 layers of crab meat on a bun, and nothing else,” said Publix spokesperson, Miguelito Abrepiernas. “We hope our customers enjoy this sandwich as much…
In a landmark deal, the Rays Touch Tank stingrays will be moving out of Tropicana Field and will now be housed at the Channelside Florida Aquarium. “These stingrays haven’t seen actual sunlight in years,” said Rays owner Stu Sternberg. “Within the next few years, you are all going to be seeing less and less of…
Tampa’s latest brewery is set to open in Downtown Tampa, and it will include a very sexy twist. “Sex and beer bro!” Said owner and operator of BeerN’Tits Brewery, Loryanne Gilchrist. Gilchrist then offered me a freshly canned beer. “I think you’re going to like this one, it’s called Blowjob Juice IPA.” I drank the…
In a deal that started with former mayoral candidate David Straz selling the company to Disney, has now ended with Disney selling the company to OJ Simpson, the former NFL player with a dark scandal that’s clouded his prolific athletic and movie career. The sale comes after Tampa News Force posted a story about the…
Local TV station WFTS, Channel 28, is reporting Tampa mayor Jane Castor recently helped the Tampa Bay Police Department track down and arrest a burglar. “After preaching for 31 years to every citizen in the community when you see something suspicious, call us up so we can go check it out,” said Castor, who served…
Brandon, Seffner, and Valrico have merged to create a new community named, “Three Amigos.” The local governments of each county were participating in a intramural kickball league, when after running through 15 cases of Michelob Ultra, they voted unanimously to become one community that would share all the benefits they each individually reaped. “Valrico’s got…