Tampa News Force
2023 TAMPA INTERNATIONAL FRINGE FESTIVAL WILL HOST TAMPA NEWS FORCE LIVE! FOR REALSIES
Totally 100% real, not fake news about something exciting that Tampa News Force is doing!
Top Headlines
Breaking News
Governor’s Office Urges Citizens to Remain Calm as Gas Overage Persists
How are you dealing with all this excess gas lying around? ⛽️
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club…
Sports
Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training
When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed…
Cleaning Crews Still Removing Stink From Raymond James Stadium
Avoid the area for the next few days. ⚠️☣️☢️
Arts and Entertainment
Modern Day DaVinci Spends 16 Seconds On Portrait’s Smile
You have to admire the attention to detail! 🎨🖼️
Government
Florida Outlaws Ranting in Your Car Without Recording It and Putting It on the Internet
It’s about time the government got involved in this.
Local and Community
Amazon Evacuation Fulfillment Center – Hillsborough County – Wednesday, 7.3.19 In an effort to manufacture good PR ahead of Amazon Prime Day, Amazon has announced a new two day evacuation perk for Prime+ members. If you are signed up for Amazon Prime+, you and your household can be evacuated to Amazon warehouses within two days…
City Court – Hillsborough County – Tuesday, 7.2.19 An investigation headed by the FDA into three Tampa-area Walmart’s, confirmed today that all three were selling bread from the Dominican Republic, and trying to pass it off as authentic Cuban bread. “It’s just tragic,” said Wendy Plumb, single mother of five and regular shopper at the…
Publix Greenwise – Hillsborough County – Monday, 7.1.19 During a press conference today, the owners of Bern’s Steak House announced that they will be releasing a limited line of prepared frozen steak dinners and desserts in a partnership with Publix Greenwise. “We are consistently regarded among the best dining in Tampa,” said Bern’s Steak House…
Florida Supreme Court – Leon County – Monday, 7.1.19 The atmosphere was electrifying this past Friday as thousands of protesters gathered outside the Tallahassee courthouse. Divided crowds exchanged chants, eagerly awaiting the Florida Supreme Court’s ruling on Larsen vs the State of Florida. The Court was expected to finally reach a ruling, after months of…
Horoscope for June 30 to July 6, 2019 Are the stars quietly whispering your future, or are they violently yelling about your past? Cancer This is the week you will finally try crystal meth. Leo Don’t let anyone tell you seltzer is a subpar beverage. Virgo You are overflowing with joy and new ideas. You…
Florida Migrant Facility – Miami-Dade County – Sunday, 6.30.19 Complaints have been rolling in to the federal government, as ICE employees are struggling to do their jobs, as children are continuing to outgrow their cages. “It’s hell right now,” said ICE child wrangler, Betsy Jo. “At first we would just put the kids in there…
Robert E. Lee Road – Hillsborough County – Saturday, 6.29.19 Tampa residents are more divided than ever as the city might have fallen prey to a deviation in our conceivable timeline or what is colloquially known as “The Mandela Effect.” Conspiracy theorists from all over the world are traveling to our beloved city with their…
Wesley Chapel Honda – Hillsborough County – Friday, 6.28.19 If you’re looking for a new car and you live in the Wesley Chapel area, you might be in for a pretty great deal…especially if you’re white! Self-declared entrepreneur and renowned Libertarian Party donor, Chet Chadwick, has recently started a new program that awards people with…
Tampa News Force Headquarters – Hillsborough County – Thursday, 6.27.19 During a recent press planning meeting, Tampa News Force (TNF) contemplated ending it all and effectively stopping all publishing of new stories. “I can’t take it anymore,” said TNF editor Josh Santos. “These articles get real long and pointless. I spend a lot of time…
West Soho – Hillsborough County – Wednesday, 6.26.19 Going into effect next Monday, the public consumption of alcohol will become illegal past 9 P.M. city-wide. Citizens will still be allowed to purchase alcohol at anytime and drink it at home, however the consumption and sale of alcohol at bars and clubs will become illegal past…