Tampa News Force
Former DeSantis campaign staffer criticizes Florida unemployment system
Have you had to deal with this system?
Breaking News
Governor’s Office Urges Citizens to Remain Calm as Gas Overage Persists
How are you dealing with all this excess gas lying around? ⛽️
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club…
Sports
Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training
When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed…
Cleaning Crews Still Removing Stink From Raymond James Stadium
Avoid the area for the next few days. ⚠️☣️☢️
Arts and Entertainment
Modern Day DaVinci Spends 16 Seconds On Portrait’s Smile
You have to admire the attention to detail! 🎨🖼️
Government
Florida Outlaws Ranting in Your Car Without Recording It and Putting It on the Internet
It’s about time the government got involved in this.
Local and Community
Money The word is money. With money you can afford the best healthcare in the world, and even secret, exclusive treatment that other people don’t receive. You know, the stuff that actually works, that they reserve specifically for the most wealthy elites in the world. If Magic Johnson can beat Aids in the 80’s, (like…
We all have ideas, I guess. Some you should act upon, and others you should not. Here are 5 ideas you should never act on. Hurt people Sometimes your brain will say “Hey, maybe I should hurt that person.” But you shouldn’t. Unless that person has a knife to you and is telling you they…
City developers have begun phase 1 of un-gentrifying South Tampa by opening a Popeye’s in the center of Hyde Park. “This is the worst idea the city has ever had.” Said Penelope Doosche, life-long resident of Hyde Park. “Poor people make my skin hurt, and my eyes water when their around, so this is pretty…
Tampa stand-up comedian Glenn “Glizzy” Werthers, best known for his persistent efforts to get everyone to call him “Glizzy”, was found dead in his apartment yesterday, the victim of an apparent, very specific form of writer’s block. “We see this sometimes when writer’s block is really severe. The writer’s brain will literally explode,” said Hillsborough…
“Plane Train,” the beloved 2018 film produced by Tampa News that was featured at the Dunedin International Film Festival, is being rebooted by Warner Brothers Studios with a different, more violent storyline and different, more violent movie stars. “It’s time,” said James Cameron, the director attached to the project. The original “Plane Train” was a…
In an effort to ban trans youth from playing school sports, teen girls will now be forced to personally supply Florida Governor Ron DeSantis with a vial of menstrual blood every month. “It’s the only way to make sure that no chicks with dicks are taking advantage of the sacred pastime that is school sports,”…
The Florida Department of Transportation (FDOT) has closed all streets, roads, boulevards and avenues named after the honorable Dr. Martin Luther King throughout the state immediately. “To be clear, we want to make sure everyone knows this is not an edict that came down from the Governor as a stance against Critical Road Theory,” said…
Trading sexual favors for career opportunities in Hollywood has been well documented over the last generation to the point where it’s common knowledge amongst almost all people in the world. The scale of what sexual actions will get you has not been detailed, until now. I will go through what you can expect to get…
If you want to make hundreds of thousands of dollars in mere seconds, look no further than slot machines! Within 6 seconds you can make 6 figures. That’s how easy it is! All you need is luck! This is less of a news article and more of a philosophical think-piece. You think about it. And…
A stranger wandered into a bar in St. Petersburg last night and proceeded to entertain patrons with a wild tall tale. “I don’t know who that dude is, but he’s hilarious,” said Todd Filbert, who happened to be among the small crowd at Stankbooty’s Taproom on Central Avenue. “He was really telling some whoppers!” The…