Tampa News Force
Tampa man’s mom throws away his collection of Trump cards
Scott Hamper recently discovered that his mother, with whom he lives in a house in Tampa, has thrown away his entire collection of Donald Trump cards.“Mom! Jesus Christ!” he was quoted as saying upon learning of the situation. The Trump cards, which are also considered non-fungible tokens (NFTs) cost $99 each and were issued exclusively…
Breaking News
Governor’s Office Urges Citizens to Remain Calm as Gas Overage Persists
How are you dealing with all this excess gas lying around? ⛽️
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club…
Sports
Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training
When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed…
Cleaning Crews Still Removing Stink From Raymond James Stadium
Avoid the area for the next few days. ⚠️☣️☢️
Arts and Entertainment
Modern Day DaVinci Spends 16 Seconds On Portrait’s Smile
You have to admire the attention to detail! 🎨🖼️
Government
Florida Outlaws Ranting in Your Car Without Recording It and Putting It on the Internet
It’s about time the government got involved in this.
Local and Community
As the City of Tampa begins to search for a new chief of police in the wake of former chief Mary O’Connor’s resignation, Mayor Jane Castor is adding a stringent new guideline applying to all city employees. “No more golf carts,” she said. “No owning them, no riding in them, using them to play golf.…
To protest the Stop Woke Act aka the “Don’t Say Gay” bill signed by Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, a local Tampa pastor has decided to deliver his sermons under his new drag queen persona. “We’re a pretty unorthodox church,” said Pastor Peaches Wylde, “I was giving all my sermons in drag even before the whole…
On the eve of the senate runoff election between Herschel Walker and Raphael Warnock in Georgia, Don and Sylvia Plehh of Largo have filed an emergency request with the Pinellas County court system to change their baby Herschel’s name immediately. “When he was born 10 months ago, we thought ‘Herschel’ was a great name,” said…
The University of South Florida has announced that the next head men’s football coach will be none other than former University of Tennessee varsity football offensive coordinator Alex Golesh. (Please note: the photo above is not Alex Golesh, it’s Alex Giles, a news reporter and anchorman with WBTV, a television station in Charlotte, NC. Spellcheck…
Spencer Hayden, a huge soccer fan from St. Petersburg found himself going through a range of emotions at Ferg’s Spots Bar during yesterday’s World Cup match between the United States Men’s National Team and the Netherlands. “It’s good to see the United States finally acknowledging the global superiority of futbol, or ‘soccer’, as most boorish…
Sexuality is not binary. It also does not need to be permanent. It can change by how you feel on a daily basis. In this article we will put heterosexuality against homosexuality and compare the pros and cons. Straight Sexuality in the biblical sense, between a man and a woman, has been the classic since…
Two tropical storms that impacted the Tampa Bay Area in 2022 celebrated the November 30 completion of hurricane season by participating in a victory boat parade in Garrison Channel yesterday. “They said Tampa Bay had no shot. They counted you all out yet again. They say that every year!” said Hurricane Ian, the deadliest hurricane…
If you frequent Taco Bell you may be deemed legally, Doritos Locos, after the franchise has declared all 7,235 of its locations as sovereign nations with their own sets of laws and regulations. Sparked by citizens rising want for abortions, Taco Bell realized that if it operated as its own country, it would be able…
I also forgot the article too. My boss is going to have his way with me when he sees this. But screw it, I don’t care anymore. What’s he going to do, fire me? He has nobody else! Literally! I look up and down my hallway and every office has cleared out! It’s me, the…
A new addendum has certified that masturbation in public parks is now legal for one hour per day, every day of the week. After a 6-3 vote by the Tampa Parks Authority, exposing sexual organs in public for self gratification is now legal from 8-9pm every night, as long as it’s within park limits. The…