Tampa News Force
Tampa man credits filthy coffee cup for robust immune system
Ed Cledders, a mid-level service associate at Service Associates Associated Inc. in Tampa, is convinced that his immune system has above-average strength which has allowed him to resist COVID-19 and its variants due entirely to the fact that he drinks coffee every day from a cup that has never been washed. “You better believe my…
Top Headlines
Breaking News
Governor’s Office Urges Citizens to Remain Calm as Gas Overage Persists
How are you dealing with all this excess gas lying around? ⛽️
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club…
Sports
Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training
When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed…
Cleaning Crews Still Removing Stink From Raymond James Stadium
Avoid the area for the next few days. ⚠️☣️☢️
Arts and Entertainment
Modern Day DaVinci Spends 16 Seconds On Portrait’s Smile
You have to admire the attention to detail! 🎨🖼️
Government
Florida Outlaws Ranting in Your Car Without Recording It and Putting It on the Internet
It’s about time the government got involved in this.
Local and Community
Just in time for the arrival of vacationing tourists from up north, the Tampa Bay Area has a brand new amusement attraction; “Escalation: The Wonder Of Escalation!” at Clearwater’s Countryside Mall. Located between Zales Jewelers and the Tampa Bay Skating Academy, the attraction consists of two escalators, one that goes up from the ground level…
The land between Naples and Fort Lauderdale in the center of Florida known as “the Everglades” will now become Chip Denver’s “World’s Largest Waterpark,” a new theme park developed by eccentric tech billionaire Chip Denver, who’s invested $6 billion into developing the land once designated as a national park. Denver bought the land from the…
In an attempt to prevent his secret from getting out, the principal of East Tampa High School convinced a student he was having sexual relations with, to become a school shooter. “I had to influence her into developing violent tendencies and unsolvable anger issues against her classmates and the entire school system as a whole,…
In an attempt to congratulate the Tampa Bay Rays on their playoff achievement, local business owner Manny Plaqueiao spent much of his weekend digging through his garage looking for his old Rays memorabilia to hang up around his place of business. “I went to one game this year when they had the $2 tickets,” said…
Even though Halloween is still weeks away, this season’s least popular costume has already been determined: Sexy Rick Scott. The costume, consisting of a rubber pinhead mask with light-up googly eyes and a lower jaw that constantly hangs open, approximating the former Florida governor’s ‘smile’ also includes a white shirt, red tie, charcoal gray suit…
The Seminole Hard Rock Casino will now be accepting blood as a substitute for American currency when it comes to repaying debts and casino loans. “There are many times where patrons will have run out of money, however they’d like to continue gamble. We want to make our guests happy, so we let them take…
Some Tampa Bay area residents have been horrified to find out that they have been sending their senior citizen parents to live out the rest of their lives in a haunted house. “This is completely unacceptable,” says Carolyn Moonstock of Oldsmar. “We love our parents. They’ve worked hard all their lives and shouldn’t be spending…
One day after the presentation of Creative Loafing’s 2019 Best of the Bay Awards, the work on making the nomination and voting processes even more glitch-ridden and frustrating next year has already begun. “It’s just like sports; the day after the Super Bowl is when you start working on next season,” says Chip Zoomer, Creative…
Tampa Business owner Led Wahtah, is upset after spending $75,000 on online marketing for a failed bid to secure a coveted Creative Loafing ‘Best of the Bay 2019’ award. “This was our first year in business and our consultants told us to target some Facebook ads, get that CL ‘Best of the Bay 2019’ sticker…
A hurricane party in Pinellas Park ended abruptly when a tornado ripped through the house, causing hundreds of dollars worth of damage. Frank “Rico” Turner is the owner of the house hit by the cyclone, and was proud to be host of a party that got hit by a Tornado. “We were celebrating the fact…