Tampa News Force
Local radio station plans to pretend to take mental health seriously
A popular local FM radio station that generates most of its content from the self-defined “crazy” behavior exhibited in news stories from the general public, as well as their own on-air staff, has announced plans to spend part of one Saturday later this month treating mental health as if it’s a serious issue. “105.2 The…
Breaking News
Governor’s Office Urges Citizens to Remain Calm as Gas Overage Persists
How are you dealing with all this excess gas lying around? ⛽️
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club…
Sports
Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training
When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed…
Cleaning Crews Still Removing Stink From Raymond James Stadium
Avoid the area for the next few days. ⚠️☣️☢️
Arts and Entertainment
Modern Day DaVinci Spends 16 Seconds On Portrait’s Smile
You have to admire the attention to detail! 🎨🖼️
Government
Florida Outlaws Ranting in Your Car Without Recording It and Putting It on the Internet
It’s about time the government got involved in this.
Local and Community
Bistroiality, an upscale restaurant on South Howard (Where every restaurant is upscale), has just launched a special seasonal item that is upsetting some people; a pumpkin spice Cuban sandwich. “It’s our ‘take’ on the traditional Cuban,” says owner Kevin Brillowitz. “It’s got all the traditional elements people are used to in a Cuban. Pork, ham,…
Controversial, “Handguns 4 Homeless” program has been activated in the Hillsborough area, official as of 3:35am this morning, putting police-grade pistols in the hands of the homeless population. “We figured if we give the homeless people guns, not only will they settle their issues with each other, but it will quickly develop a homeless hierarchy…
A necrophiliac opened a sleep study center in the plaza that has the Golden Corral in it off Highway 19. “Hey, I have sex with dead bodies, not sleeping people, I don’t see what all the fuss is about.” Said convicted necrophiliac Ned Krowfeeleak. “I’ve been rehabilitated, that’s all behind me,” Krowfeeleak said. “It’s honestly…
With the announcement of the Tampa Bay Vipers setting up shop in Plant City Stadium, Tampa News Force has partnered with the XFL to provide the latest happenings and most up-to-date news and information concerning the reboot of the XFL. This new initiative has been dubbed Viper Vision and will keep fans in the loop…
Blake Sniffler, made-up underage person and class president at Gaither High School, is re-thinking his life long ambition of a career in politics. “It’s really all I ever wanted to do, but now, man, I just don’t know,” Sniffler says. He cites “shit getting weird” as the biggest reason he now has doubts. “When I…
Pretty Ponies Gentlemen’s club has burned to the ground after a tragic incident involving a dancers vaginal flatulence catching flame during a stage performance. “Jenna” was on stage around 2:15 when she bent down and spread her legs wide open in front of Pretty Ponies’ regular James Pattington, who happened to have a Dutch Masters…
The entirety of Howard Avenue has been declared a “wet zone,” by the local government, giving citizens the right to consume alcohol in public without fear of prosecution by the law. Behavior that was once considered taboo or “only acceptable on Gasparilla,” will now not only be legal, but encouraged by the Tampa tourism board,…
After more than two years of construction and over $100 million spent on crews and materials, RiverLuxWalk Apartments has begun accepting applications for tenants with requirements that are impossible to meet. “Not only are half the rooms in this building not fully equipped to handle people living in them, most of the pipes in this…
Tampa Bay Area merchants who operate traditional brick-and-mortar retail stores are hoping to be put out of business soon, in order to lease their locations to seasonal Halloween pop-up stores. “I’m starting to get nervous; it’s September and some of those stores are already open,” says Susan Gligart, owner of Aunt Suzy’s Crafts and Yarn.…
After banning open carry by customers in its stores, a new initiative by the Lakeland-based supermarket chain hopes to save money on store security. “Everyone who works at Publix is going to be prepared for the worst,” said Publix Spokesperson Enra Aye. “We hire mostly students and old people, a demographic that rarely has a…