Tampa News Force
“Nutcracker” not what Tampa family expected at all
A family’s visit to the Straz Center last night ended in disappointment after this season’s premiere performance of “The Nutcracker,” the 1892 two-act ballet originally choreographed by Marius Petipa and Lev Ivanov with a score by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky that has become a treasured holiday classic.“Oh yeah? ‘Treasured holiday classic’, huh?” said 14-year-old Devin DeGroot.…
Top Headlines
Breaking News
Governor’s Office Urges Citizens to Remain Calm as Gas Overage Persists
How are you dealing with all this excess gas lying around? ⛽️
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club…
Sports
Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training
When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed…
Cleaning Crews Still Removing Stink From Raymond James Stadium
Avoid the area for the next few days. ⚠️☣️☢️
Arts and Entertainment
Modern Day DaVinci Spends 16 Seconds On Portrait’s Smile
You have to admire the attention to detail! 🎨🖼️
Government
Florida Outlaws Ranting in Your Car Without Recording It and Putting It on the Internet
It’s about time the government got involved in this.
Local and Community
Tampa News Force Headquarters – Uptown Tampa – Tuesday, 4.23.2019 “That’s right Tampa, my name is David Straz, you know, from the Straz building, and I’m here to officially announce that I’ve been pulling the strings over at Tampa News Force for year(s) now!” I was totally blown away by the fact that I never…
Tampa News Force Headquarters – Hillsborough County – Tuesday 4.23.2019 Archeologists have discovered ancient scrolls at the Jackson House site in Downtown Tampa which described the coming of a rich businessman who will lead the city by the Bay to claim the title of the the next ‘Great City in America’ . “I’m not one…
Tampa News Force (TNF), which was not recently purchased by an unnamed local millionaire following a clandestine meeting that probably didn’t even take place behind the Boost Mobile store, has endorsed David Straz for mayor of Tampa and whatever else he wants to do beyond that. “Strazzy is just the best,” said TNF founding member,…
Blake High School – Hillsborough County – Monday 4.22.2019 The race for mayor has taken a shocking and dark turn. After a 3 month investigation, Tampa News Force has discovered that the two remaining candidates for mayor are in fact the exact same person. The elaborate ruse was perpetrated by retired magician and comedic improviser…
Julian B. Lane Park – Hillsborough County – Monday 4.22.2019 As one of his final acts in office, Tampa mayor Bob Buckhorn has designated the orange traffic cone as the official bird of the city of Tampa. “As we revitalize our city by building new roads, new condos and not doing anything with entire city…
Sunset Skyway Bridge – Petersburg – Sunday, 4.21.2019 Spencer Wellington, AKA “Peter Vega,” on social media, has influenced a deadly local trend going around the Bay Area. The kids are calling it “The Sun Drive Challenge,” which is where you drive a car and try to stare at the sun as long as you can…
Adamo Drive Warehouse – Hillsborough County – Saturday 4.20.2019 A local prodigy is making waves on the silver screen once again as film director, Morey Richard, is set to receive a lifetime achievement award on for his long running porn parody series the “Rear-vengers”. Ever since his first hit “the I-Ron man” starring Ron Jeremy,…
Tampa Bay Times – Downtown Tampa – Friday, 4.19.2019 In a mob-style tactic, the Tampa Bay Times will now be physically collecting, “safety fees,” or as they refer to it in the mafia, “protection money.” Once a month an employee of the Times will show up to your door and physically intimidate you until you…
Florida Avenue News Force Headquarters – Hillsborough County – Thursday 4.18.2019 In an almost unprecedented dick move, Florida Avenue Brewing (a Brew Bus Brewing entity) has decided that the infantile claiming of copyright over a street that was created in 1931 c.e shouldn’t stop with suing a local business owner for naming his restaurant after…
Straz Center of the Performing Arts – Hillsborough County – Wednesday 4.17.2019 Following yesterday’s announcement from Tampa mayoral candidate Jane Castor that she will add the ED 209 to the city’s crime fighting arsenal if elected, her opponent David Straz is firing back. “Once again we see that woman can not be trusted to play…