Tampa News Force
Family can’t get into Tampa Bay Area drag shows
A family from Brandon is very upset that they’re not being allowed to attend the raunchiest, late night drag shows in the Tampa Bay Area.“This has got to be a violation of our rights or something,” said Mike Turd, the family’s patriarch. “Yes, that’s correct; our last name is Turd, which is totally a legitimate…
Breaking News
Governor’s Office Urges Citizens to Remain Calm as Gas Overage Persists
How are you dealing with all this excess gas lying around? ⛽️
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club…
Sports
Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training
When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed…
Cleaning Crews Still Removing Stink From Raymond James Stadium
Avoid the area for the next few days. ⚠️☣️☢️
Arts and Entertainment
Modern Day DaVinci Spends 16 Seconds On Portrait’s Smile
You have to admire the attention to detail! 🎨🖼️
Government
Florida Outlaws Ranting in Your Car Without Recording It and Putting It on the Internet
It’s about time the government got involved in this.
Local and Community
Clelbert Whiggins of St. Petersburg can’t believe an entire decade has passed since an incident he refuses to acknowledge ever took place, totally took place. “Wow, 10 whole years! Really? It seems like only yesterday that crisis actors, the Jews who own the media and the government all conspired to attempt a huge hoax designed…
At last night’s monthly board meeting of Tampa Pride, the organization appointed a new and highly unconventional leader, Tony Capozio, a heterosexual cis male from New Jersey with experience in managing labor disputes. The organization was thrown into turmoil last week when a high-ranking board member made disparaging remarks toward drag performers, remarks which have…
The Beer Can Building, the iconic 454-foot-tall cylindrical skyscraper in downtown Tampa is no longer branded with Sykes Enterprises, which means people who were calling it the Sykes Building can go back to calling it the Beer Can Building. Sykes Enterprises was sold to a global customer service company based in Miami, the Sitel Group,…
Quarterback for the Buccaneers, Tom Brady, has some new ink. The QB was spotted during a recent practice sporting a fresh “City Boys” tattoo, which appears on his left tricep. Presumably celebrating his new marital status, Brady is signifying that it’s “city boys’ time to shine.” Teammate, Klayshus Cash, 2nd-string Tight Wider, claims that Tom…
Most people would consider breathing good for your health. But these side-effects might prove that it’s not. Last Breath Before you die you take your “last breath.” If you didn’t breathe you would never have a last breath and you would never die. Breathing ages you, and passes time. When time passes, you get closer…
The City of Tampa, Florida, recently hosted the entire City of Tampa, Kansas, all 100 or so residents, for a tour of their namesake city, during which the residents of Tampa, Kansas, were robbed of the City of Tampa, Kansas. “They took EVERYTHING! The post office, all the houses, the Santa Fe Trail Café, the…
A man working at the old mall in Tampa has been fired from his annual seasonal job, just weeks before Christmas. “Please just call me Santa Claus,” the otherwise unnamed man said. “Because it’s a responsibility I take seriously and when I put this suit on, I am Santa Claus.” “No, you’re not,” said mall…
Former WNBA star and current political prisoner in Russia, Brittney Griner, has launched an OnlyFans account using a cell phone that was smuggled into incarceration. “Nobody’s doing anything, so if I’m stuck here, I might as well do something.” Captioned Griner on a picture of her doing the splits naked on a prison bunk-bed. “When…
Having lost yesterday’s Georgia US Senate runoff election against Raphael Warnock, Herschel Walker says there’s nothing to keep him from immediately returning to his ongoing effort to rid the streets of crime in MakeBelieve Land, where he is the sheriff, mayor and former Super Bowl MVP. “Well, I suppose I gotta go back to keeping…
Shoppers around Tampa Bay are flocking to this trendy open-air market, offering outrageously marked down prices on items people have thrown away. Hotpit is the latest overstock items and returns store to open in Tampa. The store features a football field size staging area where customers are encouraged to rip open trash bags to find…