Tampa News Force
World’s Fattest Pig Enters Tampa Mayoral Race
City Hall – Tampa – Monday, 2.4.2019“Bertha” The “World’s Fattest Pig” as quoted by the sign at the state-fair, has entered the Tampa mayoral race, after winning the hearts of Tampanians during her last visit to the fair-grounds. “She’s just so darn cute!” Says Betty Coop, mother of six, four of them on leashes. “She’s just…
Top Headlines
Breaking News
This Random Guy is Coming to St. Pete This Month
Welcome, guy who is hopefully famous for at least 15 minutes some day!
Sports
USF Football Fan Commits Numerous Hate Crimes at Bulls Win Over Bethune Cookman College
Do you launch into a relentless stream of slurs when rooting for your favorite sport? 🏈🐂
Arts and Entertainment
Billboard for Newest Busch Gardens Attraction is Newest Busch Gardens Attraction
Are you going to ride it? 🎢
How to Dress up a Sleeping Monkey as an Unconscious Woman
This could come in handy, in some awful way 🙈🙉🙉
Government
Great Outdoors Initiative Signals Big Changes for Florida’s State Parks
Do you think this will make Florida’s state parks better?
Temple Terrace Man’s Land Seized in Florida Great Outdoors Initiative
This is a developing situation
Local and Community
Arrival of New Old Lady Disrupts Retirement Center Social Scene
It would appear that not everybody loves the new gal.
State Fair Grounds – Tampa – Monday, 2.25.2019 After the success of the once-again, flawless execution of the Florida State Fair, city officials are considering the Ferris wheel as a potential full-time form of alternative transportation. “The wheel goes round,” motions Kelvin in a circular pattern. “The bigger the wheel, the further it travels when…
Tampa Social Club – Hillsborough County – Sunday 2.24.2019 Speaking to a standing room crowd at Tampa’s most prestigious social club, Florida Governor Ron Desantis started by thanking the crowd and then coughed…for a while. One of his aides rushed to the stage and handed him a cup of water. He reached for the cup…
Tampa Heights – Tampa – Saturday, 2.23.2019 Between the hours of 1-3 AM on Friday night/Saturday morning, one [REDACTED] posted in the comments section of Tampa News Force journalist John Jacobs’ personal Facebook profile page, “This a piece of shit article that shows no compassion for people with disabilities and mental illness. So for you…
Hip Gentrified Area of Town – Hillsborough County – Saturday, 2.23.2019 In response to a recent announcement that the local book and record store “Poplar Music & Books” will be closing at the end of April, thousands of would-be shoppers are expected to avoid a rally to support the failing retailer. “It’s ridiculous and I’m…
Tampa Meteorology Center – Hillsborough County – Friday, 2.22.2019 As Florida’s six week winter comes to a close, so do the mouths of residents who eat ass. It’s late February, it’s 85 degrees, swamp ass is back. Luckily for local love birds we had a Valentine’s Day under 70 degrees so it was safe to…
Lowry Park Area – Hillsborough County – Friday, 2.23.2019 In an effort to bring in more millennials, the Tampa Zoo has decided to replace all of its animals with painted strippers. “We’ve tried every single thing we could, but for some reason the only people who want to come here are kids and their parents,”…
Ybor Brewing – Hillsborough County – Thursday, 2.21.2019 Ybor Brewing has announced an official release date for its much anticipated “Shoe Licker IPA,” an homage to the infamous Ybor “Shoe Licker.” “It was a long time coming,” said Seth Spltiner, brew-master over at Ybor Brewing. “We all know who he is, we’ve seen him for…
Land O’Lakes Strip Mall – Pasco County – Thursday, 2.21.2019 A Pasco County resident is suing Lil Gamerz, a 501(c)(3) charity based in Land O’ Lakes, over what he claims was a bad experience at a recent fundraiser. The event, “Run For Red Dead,” featured a 5K race, as well as a one mile Fun Run.…
City Hall – Tampa – Wednesday, 2.20.2019 In a boldly sexual-progressive move, the city has moved forward with it’s bizarre proposal to install sexual-release, “suck booths” around the city, allowing users to “get off,” allowing them to release all sexual frustration at a moments notice. “I don’t know.” Says city councilman, Nick Donnar, as he…
TNF Headquarters – Hillsborough County – Wednesday 2.20.2019 After a particularly ineffective round table discussion on the direction of news coverage for the Tampa News Force (TNF) website, editors accidentally agreed to publish a series of weird erotica stories that may or may not contain actual news. “It was a momentary lapse in reasoning,” says…