Tampa News Force
DeSantis bans February
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis announced early this morning that effective immediately the month of February is illegal throughout the state.“The month of January will now be 45 days long and will be known as Janmaxuary and March will also be 45 days and shall be referred to as MarchUltra,” the Governor declared. “All the other…
Top Headlines
Breaking News
Governor’s Office Urges Citizens to Remain Calm as Gas Overage Persists
How are you dealing with all this excess gas lying around? ⛽️
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club…
Sports
Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training
When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed…
NFL Officially Designates New Position
After years of contributions from lovable big guys, the National Football League (NFL) has designated Lovable Big Guy (LGB) an official position effective immediately. A template perfected by William “Refrigerator” Perry of the Chicago Bears in 1985 of oversized defensive linemen being used in certain offensive situations has been adapted by various teams over the…
Arts and Entertainment
Modern Day DaVinci Spends 16 Seconds On Portrait’s Smile
You have to admire the attention to detail! 🎨🖼️
Government
Florida Outlaws Ranting in Your Car Without Recording It and Putting It on the Internet
It’s about time the government got involved in this.
Local and Community
Tampa Couple Makes Mashed Potatoes for Trunksgiving
Bob and Carol Tednalice of Tampa, inspired by how much fun they had this year with their first time participating in Trunk-or-Treat, the Halloween tradition where participants decorate their cars’ trunks with Halloween themes and pass out candy to children, are hoping to continue the fun with Trunksgiving. “We had heard of Trunk-or-Treat but didn’t…
The recent cold weather has exposed inhumane treatment by Tampa Bay residents. Tampa Bay plantologist, Shelbert Herring, noticed people covering their outdoor plants with blankets. Herring remarked “this is only the first step. We can’t forget about the pillows. What about also offering them some hot cocoa?” “Covering your plants with blankets without pillows can…
Following the retirement of quarterback Tom Brady, Tampa Bay Buccaneers General Manager Jason Licht insists that the organization is in exactly the position they anticipated. “We sat down a few years ago and mapped out a detailed plan and I can assure you and all the Bucs fans out there that we are right on…
Don Keenutz of Seffner left the Department of Motor Vehicles office on Falkenberg Road extremely dissatisfied yesterday afternoon. “This license plate is completely unacceptable,” he fumed at the clerk, a Ms. Deondra Jackson of Brandon, waving the plate that reads MLK MAL X around wildly. “I can’t put this on my Ford F-250 XLT with…
This spring, Tampa Bay will be home to the very first of its kind, small batch sperm bank. You have questions and so did we when we sat down with managing partner and brainchild of the operation, Peter Pulaski. He had plenty to say on the issue when TNF correspondent Miles Neff sat down to…
Legendary NFL quarterback Tom Brady announced his retirement on Tuesday, and he neglected to mention the New England Patriots at all in his Instagram video. But he also made another announcement that has many sports fans surprised. “I’m going to Canton as a Buccaneer,” Brady said in a second Instagram post. “I know I played…
In this write up you will learn everything you need to know about the city of Tampa, with this one-stop guide. Best Burger Catacombs Burgers on 55th street Catacombs Burgers located on west 55th street, in the north west part of the BoHo region. It’s a delight-and-a-half. Lots to enjoy, plenty for fairly priced good…
After the passage of a recent noise ordinance, Ybor City Historic Neighborhood Society announced it will begin requiring age verification to enter any business establishment in the district. “We are catering to the folks with money,” said YCHNS President Howard Milonaise. “I moved to this neighborhood five years ago and I love the culture, but…
Former or current (depending on your choice of media source) Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback spent Sunday astral projecting himself into Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow and defeating the Kansas City Chiefs in the AFC Championship. “Whether I’m retired or not, I didn’t have anything to do, and I like getting into Super Bowls, so I…
A strong gust of winter wind caused some rich douche probably named Thad or Bryce or something like that to fall off his yacht into the unseasonably cold and murky waters of Tampa Bay yesterday during the annual Gasparilla pirate celebration, to the sheer utter joy of witnesses gathered along Bayshore Blvd. to watch the…
With #gayburrito trending on numerous social media platforms, a debate started, asking the question, “Are breakfast burritos gay?” The question which was originally posted by Jenn Paco @JenPak17 asked, “Hey are brekfst burritos gay? My bf is telling me they are” The tweet gained over 60,000 comments and was shared over 10 million times across…