Breaking News
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club in West Palm Beach yesterday. “Governor DeSantis feels very strongly that this situation requires his immediate and personal attention,” said spokesperson Katie Beatty. “He always gets involved at this level…
Sports
USF Football Fan Commits Numerous Hate Crimes at Bulls Win Over Bethune Cookman College
Do you launch into a relentless stream of slurs when rooting for your favorite sport? 🏈🐂
Tampa Man Outraged Over Song Played at Bucs Game
Does this song being included at sporting events bother you?
Arts and Entertainment
Government
Great Outdoors Initiative Signals Big Changes for Florida’s State Parks
Do you think this will make Florida’s state parks better?
Temple Terrace Man’s Land Seized in Florida Great Outdoors Initiative
This is a developing situation
Local and Community
Sanctuary City Headquarters – Hillsborough County – Tuesday, 6.18.19 Rick Scott, the junior Senator from Florida who spent $83 million to get elected, is advising President Trump to allow him access to the detained children camps so that he may harvest immigrant children’s souls and extend his life meter. “I made my fortune defrauding Medicare…
SoHo Family Dollar – Hillsborough County – Tuesday, 6.18.19 To address an overwhelming concern from local residents, Tampa officials announced that a new kill shelter will be opening to house several hundred juggalos who currently overrun many Tampa neighborhoods. “It’s about time we started doing something about this nasty, destructive and invasive species,” said SoHo…
Downtown Tampa – Hillsborough County – Monday, 6.17.19 One of downtown Tampa’s cultural centers, The Hub, announced big plans to release their own line of nicotine vape juice in an effort to reach a younger generation of cool people. “I don’t chain smoke cigarettes like I used to,” says retired schoolteacher Meggie Murkle. “The only…
Wat Thai Temple – Hillsborough County – Monday, 6.17.19 In an event that was closed to the public, the Thai Temple of Tampa held a Mortal Kombat style martial arts tournament last weekend, and based on reviews from guests who got the invite, it was quite a sight to behold. “It was absolutely amazing,” said…
Honey Moon Island – Tampa – Sunday, 6.16.19 Guinness World Records has announced that a local lesbian couple has overtaken the record for most nights eating out after dining at Tampa establishments every single night for the last 16 years. “We’re honored to receive this award,” said Sheryl Basketcase, as she held the hand of…
The Florida Aquarium – Hillsborough County – Sunday, 6.15.2019 A new summer promotion from The Florida Aquarium in Tampa’s Channelside District is getting some people wet with excitement. From now until the end of summer, The Florida Aquarium will allow free entry to anyone who shows up soaking wet. Getting caught in the Florida rain…
Modern Art Museum – Hillsborough County – Saturday, 6.15.19 Thousands of Tampa residents tuned into the NBA finals on Thursday night, only to be saddened by the reminder that Toronto has a professional basketball team and Tampa does not. While Tampa has a football team, a hockey team, and kind of a baseball team, many…
Selmon Expressway – Hillsborough County – Thursday, 6.13.19 Transportation providers are bracing for the impact of autonomous cars, but the vehicles themselves are expressing concerns about being on the road with Florida drivers. “I don’t want to leave this garage,” said a Tesla Model S that was charging up in my friends garage. I broke…
Plant City – Hillsborough County – Friday, 6.14.19 Reverend Patrick Boyle of Clermont’s Revival Baptist Church has kind of announced that today’s “Make America Straight Again” rally will be held at Tampa’s Curtis Hixon Park, unless that isn’t true. “We have to keep things on the down low, on account of sodomite protesters who might show…
Mons Venus – Hillsborough County – Friday, 6.14.19 The world famous gentlemen’s club, Mons Venus, has sponsored a NASCAR for an upcoming race. The car will dawn a custom-painted hood featuring the clubs logo, alongside a scantily clad woman on a pole. “It’s just what the sport needs,” said NASCAR development chair, Michael Hogan. “When…