Tampa News Force
Family avoids holiday stress by committing suicide
The Haperdeen family, Jacob, Camille, and their two children Rudy and Melton, have decided to avoid the stress of future holidays, by committing suicide as a unit.“Buying gifts, wrapping gifts, driving family from the airport, having those get-togethers with our extended families, it’s just too much!” Said Jacob Haperdeen.“So we’ve agreed, it would all just…
Breaking News
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club in West Palm Beach yesterday. “Governor DeSantis feels very strongly that this situation requires his immediate and personal attention,” said spokesperson Katie Beatty. “He always gets involved at this level…
Sports
USF Football Fan Commits Numerous Hate Crimes at Bulls Win Over Bethune Cookman College
Do you launch into a relentless stream of slurs when rooting for your favorite sport? 🏈🐂
Tampa Man Outraged Over Song Played at Bucs Game
Does this song being included at sporting events bother you?
Arts and Entertainment
Government
Great Outdoors Initiative Signals Big Changes for Florida’s State Parks
Do you think this will make Florida’s state parks better?
Temple Terrace Man’s Land Seized in Florida Great Outdoors Initiative
This is a developing situation
Local and Community
Tampa, like many other cities in America and the rest of the world, has a lot of restaurants. Among these restaurants are subsets, such as seafood, barbecue and foreign. The very best subset among these is the diner, home of all-day breakfast, chili and people passed out in booths. Why are these beloved establishments referred…
Presley’s Fruit Truck – Leon County – Tuesday, 5.14.19 Governor Ron DeSantis was caught stealing a guava out the back of a fruit truck in West Tallahassee in a bizarre turn of events which has led the governor to attempting to pardon himself. DeSantis was blackout drunk after a fundraising event when he stumbled onto…
Czar – Hillsborough County – Monday, 5.13.2019 As part of an attempt to start a riot in the streets of Ybor City, Aaron Carter announced a free benefit concert at a local venue that can only hold 500 people max. “When people hear the word ‘free’ they freak out,” said Czar Events Manager Micardo Rondriguez.…
Tampa News Force HQ – Hillsborough County – Monday, 5.13.19 After an unfortunate self diagnosis, it appears that one of Tampa News Force staff reporter has contracted Hepatitis A. “Yea it sucks,” said John Jacobs. “My eyelids hurt, so I googled it, and it said I might have Hepatitis A, and I don’t have health…
Brooke Hogan Library and Neighborhood Restoration Center – Hillsborough County – Sunday, 5.12.2019 In an incredibly fast turn of events, Jane Castor has accomplished all the goals she laid out during her campaign in less than two weeks. “Hasn’t even felt like I’ve been done with my first few hours as mayor,” Castor said while…
BrownWater Cafe – Pinellas County – Sunday, 5.12.2019 In an unprecedented move, local comedian Jeremy Sperling announced that he was sick and tired of PC culture, to a crowd of stunned onlookers at the BrownWater Cafe’s open mic night. The straight white man added that people are too sensitive, and he just doesn’t care if…
United Business Corporation Solution Solvers, Inc. – Hillsborough County – Friday, 5.10.2019 Local motivational speaker and self-help guru Glenda Harmusch is actually not a real person, but a collection of arbitrary catchphrases dressed up to look like a human being. Harmusch, or rather the sack of random, would-be miniature life lessons that comprise ‘her’, has…
Moon Lake Acres – Pasco County – Friday, 5.10.19 A woman in Pasco County has been arrested on felony assault charges after breaking into a police officers home and vaccinating him in his sleep. Heather Portabello, the woman in custody, apparently broke into the officers home around 2:30 am with a hypodermic needle full of…
For many years now, Tampa has been a hot bed of comedy open mics. While still not the most popular entertainment option, comedy open mics occur nearly every night of the week. This is our list of the top ones: 10. Brandy’s This now leveled lot in St. Pete, used to be an exuberant trailer…
Florida Governor’s Mansion – Leon County – Friday, 5.10.2019 Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signed a bill today banning teachers from carrying tasers in public schools. After signing a bill allowing teachers to carry a gun if they pass a course, the Florida government decided to ban teachers from carrying a taser. “What if a child…