Tampa News Force
Agency you’ve probably never heard of that never did anything calls it quits
The Tampa Bay Area Regional Transit Authority (TBARTA), the transit authority that oversees regional transportation needs in Hernando, Hillsborough, Manatee, Pasco and Pinellas counties has voted unanimously to dissolve the organization.“Fuck it,” said TBARTA Chairman Cliff Manuel Jr. “We out.”The agency, started by the state in 2007 but not having received funding from the state…
Breaking News
Governor’s Office Urges Citizens to Remain Calm as Gas Overage Persists
How are you dealing with all this excess gas lying around? ⛽️
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club…
Sports
Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training
When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed…
Cleaning Crews Still Removing Stink From Raymond James Stadium
Avoid the area for the next few days. ⚠️☣️☢️
Arts and Entertainment
Modern Day DaVinci Spends 16 Seconds On Portrait’s Smile
You have to admire the attention to detail! 🎨🖼️
Government
Florida Outlaws Ranting in Your Car Without Recording It and Putting It on the Internet
It’s about time the government got involved in this.
Local and Community
Carrolwood Apartments – Hillsborough County – Friday, 5.31.2019 A Tampa teen is being hailed as a hero for thwarting Russian hacking attempts today. “I was doing one of my regular local government site checks and saw a group of Russian hackers cybering on an open port,” said 16-year-old hacker Mikey “SweetWhips69” Paulo. “It was my…
One Buc Place – Tampa – Thursday, 5.30.19 Tampa Bay Buccaneers head coach Bruce Arians has quit his coaching position suddenly amongst frustrations citing, “Lack of comprehension from the team on every level,” and “General unhappiness and anger.” “These boys don’t want to play!” Shouted Arians from the back of a golf cart. “I draw…
Florida State Fairgrounds – Hillsborough County – Thursday, 5.30.2019 In an attempt to get more people to attend games, the Tampa Bay Rays have officially announced that they have secretly converted Tropicana Field into a food truck and will soon begin touring the state of Florida. “I was watching that movie Mortal Engines with my…
Ybor Tattoo Shop on 7th – Hillsborough County – Wednesday, 5.30.2019 While on a trip to Ybor City to promote hurricane preparedness, Senator Rick Scott decided to get inked by legendary tattoo artist, MarcoEllis Phillifes. “When he came into my shop, I saw a beautiful canvas,” said Phillifes, a third-generation tattoo artist from Ybor City.…
Tampa Museum of Art – Hillsborough County – Wednesday, 5.29.19 The Tampa Art Museum located in Downtown Tampa will now be featuring “Gay Prostitute Night” which is being listed as an event, however it’s also listed as an art piece, leaving museum goers confused. The official email released to Tampa Art Museum subscribers stated, “As…
Suntrust Building – Hillsborough County – Tuesday, 5.28.19 An 8th grader has been taken into custody after hijacking the Suntrust lighting system and displaying a swastika on the roof of the Suntrust building. “I thought it would be funny!” Said the 8th grader who will remain anonymous. “Sometimes you scratch one in your notebook or…
Doing cocaine in Tampa is like visiting Disney when in Orlando. If you’re on the search for the perfect place to do cocaine while hanging out in the Tampa Bay area, we’ve got you covered! 5. MacDinton’s This college bar on South Howard has the perfect bathrooms to do cocaine in, because not only are…
Downtown Tampa – Hillsborough County – Sunday, 5.26.2019 The National Organization of Smelling Enforcement (NOSE) has ranked Tampa among the best smelling cities in the world. “Once your nostrils get accustomed to the humidity, the things you can smell in this town are unbelievable,” said NOSE Official City Sniffer, Laura Grenie. “I can count all…
Tampa Neighborhood Park – Hillsborough County – Saturday, 5.25.2019 A neighborhood police BBQ turned up the heat to 11 today after one of the officers manning the grill was accused of giving most of the food to homeless people. “We told them last night to clear out the park so we could set up for…
Tampa is one of the top destinations in the entire world, and according to a recent internal survey, 80% of Tampa likes to get laid. So today we are counting down the best places to get it! 5. Beach People love having sex on the beach! Trust me! Not only do I see it, and…