Tampa News Force
Florida’s Amendment 4 Gives Felons Who Served Their Time the Right to Go Fuck Themselves
Governor Ron DeSantis held a press conference today hoping to set the record straight on the intent of Amendment 4 that was passed in 2018.DeSantis dismissed concerns that he did everything in his power to stop the will of the people of Florida who overwhelmingly voted to give felons who served their time in prison…
Breaking News
Governor’s Office Urges Citizens to Remain Calm as Gas Overage Persists
How are you dealing with all this excess gas lying around? ⛽️
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club…
Sports
Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training
When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed…
Cleaning Crews Still Removing Stink From Raymond James Stadium
Avoid the area for the next few days. ⚠️☣️☢️
Arts and Entertainment
Modern Day DaVinci Spends 16 Seconds On Portrait’s Smile
You have to admire the attention to detail! 🎨🖼️
Government
Temple Terrace Man’s Land Seized in Florida Great Outdoors Initiative
This is a developing situation
Local and Community
Mons Venus – Tampa – Thursday, 2.7.2019 What some are calling “a miracle” took place last weekend when a portrait of the Virgin Mary presented itself in the form of a stripper’s asshole at the Mons Venus on Dale Mabry. “I was putting my money on the counter, nothing big, just ones to try and…
University of South Florida – Tampa – Wednesday, 2.6.2019 University of South Florida (USF) announced new expansion plans which will add the floundering 100-acre University Mall to its campus. “We saw this as the next logical step to create a complete learning and living experience for our students,” says USF Community Development President, Richardo Gimineez.…
City Hall – Homosassa – Wednesday, 2.6.2019 After a 5-4 vote between local legislators, the town of Homosassa, FL, will now officially be called “HomoSassy” and cater to only gay and black residents, exclusively. “It felt like a natural fit,” said county Urologist Nelson Mandelay. “The name is so close to homo-sassy, and I mean…
Update Saturday, 2.9.19 As of today, donations have begun pouring in to Shutdown Tampa News Force, it’s only a matter of time before supporters gather the necessary donations to purchase our publication and shut us down. Don’t let Shutdown Tampa News Force win! Help us stop the shutdown of Tampa News Force by donating today to our…
Tampa, FLA – Tuesday February 5, 2019 Tampa News Force was featured on the homepage of the Tampa Bay Times. Read the full story from Tampa Bay Times Features Writer, Christopher Spata on tampabaytimes.com. See our history with the Tampa Bay Times below:
Puppy Cuts – Tampa – Tuesday, 2.5.2019 In a perversely progressive move, local groomer “Puppy Cuts” will now offer sex changes for dogs. Per owner request, a dog will now have the ability to become a bitch or a boy. The surgery will be done all in-store, and should take less than 15 minutes, as…
Guadalupes Espresso Roasting – East Tampa – Tuesday, 2.5.2019 Beloved community member and Tampa resident, Cuban coffee, fears his time in the United States is up due to the latest changes in immigration laws. “I came to this country and got my citizenship by setting foot on American soil,” says a freshly roasted batch of…
City Hall – Tampa – Monday, 2.4.2019 “Bertha” The “World’s Fattest Pig” as quoted by the sign at the state-fair, has entered the Tampa mayoral race, after winning the hearts of Tampanians during her last visit to the fair-grounds. “She’s just so darn cute!” Says Betty Coop, mother of six, four of them on leashes.…
Ybor – Tampa – Florida – Monday, 2.4.2019 In a stunning twist last week, a bill was presented by local Ybor bar owners to allow the free and “surprise” distribution of Rohypnol in local clubs. With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, the Hillsborough Board of Commissioners were happy to fast-track the bill. “I couldn’t be more…
Downtown St. Pete – Tampa Bay – Saturday, 2.2.2019 Due to a lack of wall space in St. Petersburg, local muralists have turned to sand art and painting the bodies and possessions of the homeless. Every square inch of available space to paint has been taken up by professional muralists and wannabe artists alike. With…