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Governor’s Office Urges Citizens to Remain Calm as Gas Overage Persists
How are you dealing with all this excess gas lying around? ⛽️
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club…
Sports
Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training
When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed…
NFL Officially Designates New Position
After years of contributions from lovable big guys, the National Football League (NFL) has designated Lovable Big Guy (LGB) an official position effective immediately. A template perfected by William “Refrigerator” Perry of the Chicago Bears in 1985 of oversized defensive linemen being used in certain offensive situations has been adapted by various teams over the…
Arts and Entertainment
Modern Day DaVinci Spends 16 Seconds On Portrait’s Smile
You have to admire the attention to detail! 🎨🖼️
Government
Florida Outlaws Ranting in Your Car Without Recording It and Putting It on the Internet
It’s about time the government got involved in this.
Local and Community
Last week, the entire world witnessed an altercation between Will Smith and Chris Rock at the Academy Awards presentation ceremony after Rock made a joke at the expense of Smith’s wife Jada, who suffers from alopecia areata. This has resulted in significant increases in two specific areas:1) People Googling “alopecia areata” 2) People suddenly worrying that being…
Kava Krafters – a newly opened kava bar in downtown St. Petersburg — has baffled and perplexed locals by deciding it will NOT be having a weekly open mic. For our readers who don’t know about kava: the bitter drink is made from the ground roots of Piper methysticum, a plant native to the South…
A consortium of former visitors to Jeffrey Epstein’s private Caribbean islands are seeking to purchase Pine Key, also known as Beer Can Island for what are being described as “recreational and leisure purposes”. Lawyers for Epstein’s estate confirmed that the two islands that belonged to the deceased sex offender and financier – Little St James…
A Polk County woman gave birth to a baby born with a Covid mask on after she claims the child was conceived while both parents were wearing masks. “We made love while wearing Covid masks because we were in the back of a subway car in New Jersey and you had to have them on.…
Three of Tampa Bay’s best up-and-coming humorists gathered at a St. Pete kava bar yesterday to discuss the ramifications that the recent confrontation between comedian Chris Rock and Will Smith will ultimately have on the Tampa Bay comedy scene and the institution of stand-up comedy itself. Smith took the stage at the 2022 Oscars to…
The political slogan “Let’s go Brandon” popularized by a news reporter who mistakenly identified a “f*** Joe Biden” chant as “let’s go Brandon”, has been made illegal by Florida legislation. “After the ‘don’t say gay’ bill was passed and we realized we could make words illegal, we decided to go after the phrase ‘let’s go…
Cars Children like cars, they like to imagine driving them, they make noises when they pretend to drive them. It’s a heavy favorite amongst boys and girls, everyone enjoys transportation-based imagination. Birds Kids like animals, birds are specifically intriguing because they can fly so it adds an element of excitement because it can do something…
“A float with somebody famous on it is automatically a better float than one with a bunch of nobodies”
A billboard in Russian has appeared on Tampa Street in Tampa Heights, just south of the intersection with Emily Avenue, heightening fears that the Russians are planning to invade Tampa and may already have operatives embedded in the area. “It appears to be a recruiting poster,” said resident Claymatia Pierce. “It probably says something like,…
A study commissioned by the Committee To Build a Football Stadium On the USF Campus indicates that interest in the school’s football program could increase by up to 100% if a football stadium were to be built on the USF campus. “We believe that the amount of people who care about Bulls football could grow…