Tampa News Force
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Breaking News
Governor’s Office Urges Citizens to Remain Calm as Gas Overage Persists
How are you dealing with all this excess gas lying around? ⛽️
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club…
Sports
Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training
When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed…
Cleaning Crews Still Removing Stink From Raymond James Stadium
Avoid the area for the next few days. ⚠️☣️☢️
Arts and Entertainment
Modern Day DaVinci Spends 16 Seconds On Portrait’s Smile
You have to admire the attention to detail! 🎨🖼️
Government
Florida Outlaws Ranting in Your Car Without Recording It and Putting It on the Internet
It’s about time the government got involved in this.
Local and Community
BOO! Spooky season has once again fallen on Tampa Bay and the streets are filled with ghosts and ghouls and goblins and gremlins and grandparents. Sure, you’ve heard of frightening attractions like Howl-O-Scream at Busch Gardens and Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios and Friday Evenings at Rick Scott’s House, but there are plenty of…
Cuban bread which has gone bad will now be sent to Ukraine and used as body armor as part of a new program which gives back to the war-torn country. “The birds eat before.” Said Pablito Samosa in broken English. “The birds used to eat it before you started sending it?” I tried to clarify.…
New articles on fakenewsdaily.net have revealed that Tom Brady knew about Covid before it happened which is why he decided to move to Tampa. “He was privy to information before the public which stated, Covid would be released in China then slowly spread to America and shut things down, noting that Florida would be one…
Following a recent spate of criticism directed toward actor Bill Murray for his inappropriate conduct over the course of his career, Tampa Bay Area bros are concerned there could be a trickle-down affect that could impact them directly. “Bro! Come on,” said one such bro. “I mean, bro.” “Bro!” he added. Another slightly more verbal…
Jason Accardi, President and CEO of Seven One Seven Parking Enterprises, announced yesterday that a new company has been formed: 717 Parking Enterprises II. “People are liable to hear this and think this is some sort of lawsuit or tax dodge, to escape some sort of legal punishment for conducting shady business, ala President Trump,”…
Tampa News Force, the highly revered, venerable and redundant media platform and purveyor of satirical news parody content, has published the 2000th article in the organization’s storied history: this one. That’s right, you’re reading history as we’re making it. Never before have writers and readers been united in the quest to pat themselves and each…
On the eve of Tampa News Force (TNF) publishing their 2000th article, archaeologists from the University of South Florida (USF) announced an incredible discovery, the very first article published by TNF over 700 years ago. Long thought to have been lost or destroyed, the article was posted on April 1st, 1506 and is attributed to…
Timothy Edelstein, who was arrested for committing a mass shooting at an abortion clinic, was named the winner of a secret preliminary primary for the GOP. “He hates abortions, he loves guns, he really checks all the boxes.” Said Hanz Prinzman, the secret shadow-GOP government leader. “What about the fact that he murdered people and…
ZooTampa At Lowry Park, Tampa Bay’s local zoo, has stirred up recent controversy with is recent campaign: “What exactly do you think happens to the animals if you stop coming here?”. Critics claim the slogan elicits fear on behalf of the animals. Here’s what Tampa Bay zoo visitors have to say: One local visitor to…
Devin Fishwith, a single man from Plant City who is not very good at attending concerts, is very excited about impressing a woman with the great tickets he has for an upcoming show. “Man, I can’t wait to see who’s going to be coming with me to this one,” he said. “I’ll tell you that…