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Governor’s Office Urges Citizens to Remain Calm as Gas Overage Persists
How are you dealing with all this excess gas lying around? ⛽️
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club…
Sports
Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training
When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed…
NFL Officially Designates New Position
After years of contributions from lovable big guys, the National Football League (NFL) has designated Lovable Big Guy (LGB) an official position effective immediately. A template perfected by William “Refrigerator” Perry of the Chicago Bears in 1985 of oversized defensive linemen being used in certain offensive situations has been adapted by various teams over the…
Arts and Entertainment
Modern Day DaVinci Spends 16 Seconds On Portrait’s Smile
You have to admire the attention to detail! 🎨🖼️
Government
Florida Outlaws Ranting in Your Car Without Recording It and Putting It on the Internet
It’s about time the government got involved in this.
Local and Community
Earlier today, U.S. Senator Rick Scott of Florida stopped just short of a full endorsement of Critical Race Theory (CRT), the extremely controversial and dangerous academic concept that teaches the core idea that race is a social construct, and that racism is not merely the product of individual bias or prejudice and also that white…
In a shocking first this week, the now former Tampa Bay Lightning have become the first major US sports team to change their mascot to a Pokémon. With abstract and fantasy based mascots like the Dragons, the Heat, and Jazz, this natural progression in branding seems almost inevitable. “As long as it still relates to…
Henry Gzzrnrsh of St. Petersburg frequently receives Uber Eats deliveries on behalf of his co-workers and is miffed that he is rarely offered a gratuity for the service he provides. “Granted, I didn’t make the food or even pick it up from where it came from. But if not for me, it would sit there…
Officials in Tampa are citing the use of official Cuban bread from La Segunda Bakery in Ybor as the solution to school shootings. “Of the 93 school shootings in 2021, no school shootings occurred in the greater Tampa Bay Area,” said Tampa Mayor, Jane Castor, in a press conference on Saturday. “We believe this is…
1. Excercise Exercise is one of those things that requires the human (you) to leave the house. Cats don’t like that. But what you don’t know about exercise is that it can actually help you lose weight, and maybe even gain some muscles along the way. 2. Cucumbers are good for you Despite looking like…
You’ve probably been hearing a lot lately about something called “monkeypox” as the next big thing you need to be afraid of. Monkeypox is a rare disease caused by infection with the monkeypox virus. Monkeypox virus belongs to the Orthopoxvirus genus in the family Poxviridae. What it also is, is something you don’t really need to worry about…
Living in Florida comes with a unique set of circumstances that can weigh on your day-to-day life. With this list of life hacks, you can navigate Florida life, just a little bit easier Keep a bucket of ice in your car If you keep a large metal bucket of ice in your car at all…
For lesbians here in the Tampa Bay area, they have now started refusing sex with men following Roe v. Wade’s overturn. In the past, lesbians all over the Bay Area have been drawn to penal insertion. Due to abortion rights being struck down, the pene in vagine deal seems less and less attractive to lesbians…
An undercover sting operation designed to apprehend giant African snails who have recently invaded Pasco County has been called off due to a failure to catch any suspects Sheriff Chris Nocco announced yesterday. “They may be slow-moving but they’re slippery and slimy,” he said. “We baited them with the sexiest underage pornography we could find,…
A Tampa man who had been virtually paying a woman overseas for her company was linked to funding Russian war crimes in Ukraine after it was discovered he was being catfished. Kemp Hiller, an archaeologist in Pasco County had been sending a woman over the internet $400 per month for 2 years, when he recently…