Tampa News Force
Rays Announce New Stadium in North Korea
Tampa – St Petersburg- Thursday, 1.3.2019The Tampa Bay Ray’s have officially signed a deal to transfer their franchise to Pyongyang, North Korea, after a lucrative deal was offered by the foreign government. “Nobody really cared about us here, so we figured ‘why not?’” Said Craig Bunt, Spokesman for the team. “Yea, people just kind of complained…
Breaking News
Governor’s Office Urges Citizens to Remain Calm as Gas Overage Persists
How are you dealing with all this excess gas lying around? ⛽️
DeSantis to Personally Investigate Latest Assassination Attempt on Trump
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will be conducting his own investigation regarding the attempted assassination of former President Trump at the Republican presidential nominee’s golf club…
Sports
Yankees Fan Invited to Spring Training
When the defending American League But Not World Champion New York Yankees report to Tampa for spring training in February, they’ll be joined by self-appointed…
NFL Officially Designates New Position
After years of contributions from lovable big guys, the National Football League (NFL) has designated Lovable Big Guy (LGB) an official position effective immediately. A template perfected by William “Refrigerator” Perry of the Chicago Bears in 1985 of oversized defensive linemen being used in certain offensive situations has been adapted by various teams over the…
Arts and Entertainment
Modern Day DaVinci Spends 16 Seconds On Portrait’s Smile
You have to admire the attention to detail! 🎨🖼️
Government
Florida Outlaws Ranting in Your Car Without Recording It and Putting It on the Internet
It’s about time the government got involved in this.
Local and Community
Following a recent series of unpleasant confrontations between Tampa Mayor Jane Castor and members of the Tampa City Council, all parties involved have agreed to seek therapy in order to understand, and hopefully resolve, their differences. “It’s what the city needs and deserves, a leadership with a united front that communicates effectively and resolves internal…
Tonight is the first night of the 2022 NFL Draft and we here at Tampa News Force have been spending the last few weeks poring over all the scouting reports and ranking all the prospects. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers will have the 27th pick (out of 32) and as Tampa Bay’s most knowledgeable and credible…
A new chain of restaurants is opening their first location in Brandon, Florida, because that’s where every chain of restaurants opens new locations for some reason. Lonely’s is a new concept eatery, catering exclusively to people who are alone, whether by choice or not. It will serve a menu with a wide variety of top-quality…
Due to frustration he experiences while trying to communicate, Mike Dumbar of Clearwater has declared that he is never going to speak to his grandfather again. “I was trying to teach him about cryptocurrency and he just refuses to listen to me,” said Dumbar. “I told him that cryptocurrencies will eventually replace the dollar and…
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is proposing a possible compromise in the ongoing strained relationship between his office and The Walt Disney Company. “Maybe there’s room for a quid pro quo,” he said. “Maybe if they do something, I’ll do something.” What he’s suggesting is that the entertainment conglomerate that operates Walt Disney World, arguably the…
A fire at a medical marijuana dispensary in Clearwater last Thursday resulted in an unprecedented urgent response from local emergency service providers. “All units, all units. Be advised, there’s a fire at a weed store on 19. This is it, everybody! The big one! All y’all! This is the one we’ve all dreamed of. Everybody…
Clayton Plateler of Tampa has been arrested after his attempt to hide from Tampa Police Department officers in a wood chipper failed miserably. Police were called to the Mayflower Motel on North Florida Avenue where Plateler had been spotted breaking car windows and stealing radios. When officers arrived on scene, he tried to escape by…
Between Governor Ron DeSantis and his DeSciples declaring Disneyworld off limits and people coming here to live and not just visit, tourists are becoming an endangered species in the state of Florida. Add to that an economy ravaged by inflation, and it’s easy to see that the state’s leading industry is in serious trouble. With…
Steve Addor, a business man in St. Petersburg has a radical new idea on how to repurpose shipping containers. “I was thinking I’d put shit in them and ship them,” he said. “I’m not sure why nobody thought of this before. But I like to think outside the box. Or in this case, inside the…
While touring around his new neighborhood, northern transplant Trevor Plumb decided to offer nearby business owners tips to make things more accommodating for him. “I almost didn’t come in here,” said Plumb who decided to enter a coffee shop without getting off of his children’s toy commonly referred to as a hoverboard. “Yeah, that sign…