Tampa News Force
Top Headlines
Breaking News
Controversy surrounding statue of brainless Kennedy in convertible on Kennedy Blvd
Conspiracy theory from the art world!
Sports
NFL Approves Enhanced Head Injury Prevention Measure
Something that makes players safe AND more adorable sounds pretty good 🏈
Arts and Entertainment
Busch Gardens Tampa announces birth of endangered orangutan, now it’s all they talk about
Are you excited to meet the new baby? 🦧
Government
Tampa to Replace Speed Limit Signs with Thumbs-Up Emoji
Slow down, speed up, whatever you want to do is fine!
Local and Community
Babies Prohibited from Crying on Water Street
At least there’s one place in town you can go and enjoy peace and quiet 👶
Florida Senator Rick Scott is calling on all Americans to stop buying Chinese products, specifically when it comes to the cages they place children in at private prison facilities. “These kids don’t deserve to be in cheap Chinese cages,” the Senator said while speaking to a crowd of reporters. “Chinese steel is very cheap and…
Bistroiality, an upscale restaurant on South Howard (Where every restaurant is upscale), has just launched a special seasonal item that is upsetting some people; a pumpkin spice Cuban sandwich. “It’s our ‘take’ on the traditional Cuban,” says owner Kevin Brillowitz. “It’s got all the traditional elements people are used to in a Cuban. Pork, ham,…
Controversial, “Handguns 4 Homeless” program has been activated in the Hillsborough area, official as of 3:35am this morning, putting police-grade pistols in the hands of the homeless population. “We figured if we give the homeless people guns, not only will they settle their issues with each other, but it will quickly develop a homeless hierarchy…
A necrophiliac opened a sleep study center in the plaza that has the Golden Corral in it off Highway 19. “Hey, I have sex with dead bodies, not sleeping people, I don’t see what all the fuss is about.” Said convicted necrophiliac Ned Krowfeeleak. “I’ve been rehabilitated, that’s all behind me,” Krowfeeleak said. “It’s honestly…
With the announcement of the Tampa Bay Vipers setting up shop in Plant City Stadium, Tampa News Force has partnered with the XFL to provide the latest happenings and most up-to-date news and information concerning the reboot of the XFL. This new initiative has been dubbed Viper Vision and will keep fans in the loop…
Blake Sniffler, made-up underage person and class president at Gaither High School, is re-thinking his life long ambition of a career in politics. “It’s really all I ever wanted to do, but now, man, I just don’t know,” Sniffler says. He cites “shit getting weird” as the biggest reason he now has doubts. “When I…
Pretty Ponies Gentlemen’s club has burned to the ground after a tragic incident involving a dancers vaginal flatulence catching flame during a stage performance. “Jenna” was on stage around 2:15 when she bent down and spread her legs wide open in front of Pretty Ponies’ regular James Pattington, who happened to have a Dutch Masters…
The entirety of Howard Avenue has been declared a “wet zone,” by the local government, giving citizens the right to consume alcohol in public without fear of prosecution by the law. Behavior that was once considered taboo or “only acceptable on Gasparilla,” will now not only be legal, but encouraged by the Tampa tourism board,…
After more than two years of construction and over $100 million spent on crews and materials, RiverLuxWalk Apartments has begun accepting applications for tenants with requirements that are impossible to meet. “Not only are half the rooms in this building not fully equipped to handle people living in them, most of the pipes in this…
Tampa Bay Area merchants who operate traditional brick-and-mortar retail stores are hoping to be put out of business soon, in order to lease their locations to seasonal Halloween pop-up stores. “I’m starting to get nervous; it’s September and some of those stores are already open,” says Susan Gligart, owner of Aunt Suzy’s Crafts and Yarn.…