Tampa News Force
Breaking News
Controversy surrounding statue of brainless Kennedy in convertible on Kennedy Blvd
Conspiracy theory from the art world!
Sports
Tampa News Force Sports Analysts Break Down Lightning’s Loss to Calgary on “Pride Night”
Who’s right? Who’s wrong? 🏒🥅🌈
Arts and Entertainment
Busch Gardens Tampa announces birth of endangered orangutan, now it’s all they talk about
Are you excited to meet the new baby? 🦧
Government
Tampa to Replace Speed Limit Signs with Thumbs-Up Emoji
Slow down, speed up, whatever you want to do is fine!
Florida Prison Guard Unable to Afford Rent, Commits Crime to Sleep in Prison
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Local and Community
Babies Prohibited from Crying on Water Street
At least there’s one place in town you can go and enjoy peace and quiet 👶
The Dutch Motel has produced a big-budget television commercial that will be broadcast during Super Bowl LIV, taking place in Miami this Sunday evening. “Let’s face it, it’s not like the convention and visitors bureau is going to publicize us,” says owner and general manager V’lln Bliet. “That’s fine. Screw them. We’ll just do it ourselves.”…
A new law that prohibits the sale of alcohol in Ybor past 10pm has backfired, as people are now binge drinking earlier to become blackout drunk before 10pm. The law which was meant to decrease alcohol related health issues and violence instead has had the opposite effect prompting inebriated Ybor-goers to vomit on the sidewalk…
Through a decade-long study, a Nobel prize winning quantum physicist has produced results proving that people in Florida are affected by time differently than everyone else in the country. The study focused on two identical twins, one who lived in Tampa, and the other who lived in New York. After close surveillance for ten years,…
Four young men who met in a Tampa police holding cell after being detained for drunk and disorderly conduct at the 2020 Gasparilla parade have decided to join forces and form a musical group, a business of some sort or some other venture. “It’s amazing that we were brought together under such crazy circumstances and…
Florida Senator Rick Scott was detained inside of a medical tent today, amid fears that he contracted the Coronavirus while filming an interview for Fox News in which he demonstrated his ability to bite the heads off of live animals. “It’s part of my morning ritual,” said Scott while trying to bite the head off…
Attendees of this year’s Florida State Fair in Tampa can look forward to sampling some brand-new deep-fried food items. Garth Darthworth of the National Novelty Food Association of North America says, “We had a great convention this year, with our very creative vendors unveiling some really exciting new concepts, in addition to the old favorites.…
The Former Mayor of New York City, Michael Bloomberg, visited Tampa today to have coffee with current Tampa Mayor Jane Castor at the famous and recently built Trip’s Diner. The meeting was totally normal, nothing weird about a billionaire grabbing some coffee in Tampa with Castor in the up-and-coming neighborhood of Seminole Heights. The two…
In support of Tampa Mayor Jane Castor’s #BeadFreeBay campaign, an anti-littering awareness campaign to remind the public that throwing beads and other litter into Tampa Bay is prohibited, Tampa News Force is producing ‘Bay Ecologically and Environmentally Friendly (B.E.E.F.)’ Beads for people planning to attend the Gasparilla parades and other festivities. “Environmental sustainability is a…
A group of Gulf Coast pirates have officially filed a complaint with the state department over claims that Gasparilla is offensive to native pirate culture and the Tampa holiday is exploitative and appropriating their culture. “First of all, beads have nothing to do with Pirates,” said Long John Turquoise, a pirate attached to the class…
For the first time in the city’s history, the annual invasion of Tampa by pirates from Ye Mystic Krewe of Gasparilla has been thwarted. Mayor Jane Castor, formerly Tampa’s chief of police, acting alone but under the authority of herself, fought off a group of more than a dozen rich, doughy white guys in silk…