Tampa News Force
Breaking News
Controversy surrounding statue of brainless Kennedy in convertible on Kennedy Blvd
Conspiracy theory from the art world!
Sports
NFL Approves Enhanced Head Injury Prevention Measure
Something that makes players safe AND more adorable sounds pretty good 🏈
Arts and Entertainment
Busch Gardens Tampa announces birth of endangered orangutan, now it’s all they talk about
Are you excited to meet the new baby? 🦧
Government
Tampa to Replace Speed Limit Signs with Thumbs-Up Emoji
Slow down, speed up, whatever you want to do is fine!
Local and Community
Babies Prohibited from Crying on Water Street
At least there’s one place in town you can go and enjoy peace and quiet 👶
It has been one year since the former governor of Florida, Rick Scott, was elected to the United States Senate after narrowly defeating some old man who had been at that job for too long. “I was elected governor of Florida with absolutely no experience besides my ability to scam taxpayers,” said Senator Scott. “I…
A video has surfaced of Florida Governor, Ron DeSantis, giving a pinky promise to an Ocala alderman, promising funding for an elementary school art program, with his fingers crossed behind his back. The discovery is considered significant because the promise was made over a year ago, however DeSantis has still not secured funding for the…
Pinellas County’s newest Hawaiian Ice store is a hit with adults and teens alike. Hawaiian Vape and Ice, formerly called Vapor, on S. Fort Harrison Ave. in Clearwater has lines extending past the Fort Harrison Hotel. “It’s amazing, they have revitalized downtown Clearwater,” said longtime Scientologist Ronald Dreamer. Hawaiian Vape owner, Richard Cranium, claims it’s…
A giant roof which spans 12 blocks long and 6 blocks wide has been installed over Ybor City centrally located above Centro Ybor. The roof is 150 feet high covering even some parts of the Selmon expressway. The roof is lined with dozens of rows of solar panels, using the energy to power the lights…
During a heated community meeting, Jane Castor was under intense pressure to lose her cool. “I’ve had my fair share of dealing with egos and attitudes,” said Tampa Mayor Jane Castor. “I took a deep breath, listened to what these folks had to say and we discussed everything in a civil manner.” During the community…
As an all new part of the “fuck the readers” program, Tampa News Force will now be openly combating haters in the comments section of the website. Due to the impending doom of the company itself, Tampa News Force will no longer be putting any effort into it’s posts, and in fact will be outwardly…
The Tampa Sports Authority, an independent special district responsible for the management of Raymond James Stadium, three city golf courses and the Tournament Sportsplex of Tampa Bay as well as serving as the landlord for George Steinbrenner Field and Amalie Arena, has announced the introduction of a new mascot, tasked with the purpose of motivating…
Following in the tracks (ha ha!) of several highly successful dog bars, such as Dog Bar, St. Petersburg is now getting its first feral scavenger bar. “Welcome to Critterz!” Says owner Wesley Truckard enthusiastically. “The bar for varmints and the people who love them.” Located on Central Avenue near Tropicana Field in the busy and…
A bill passed granting tax breaks to Floridians, based on how far they are from the beach. Citizens who live directly on the beach will pay a flat tax of 20% where as every mile you live from the beach, your taxes go down by 1%, to the point where if you live 20+ miles…
An eight-year-old is in custody after allegedly stabbing Dodger McGavins while he waited in the checkout line of his local Publix today. “That man was wearing a ‘Make American Great Again’ (MAGA) hat, but he was wearing it ironically and with a shirt that said ‘Lock Him Up!’” Said the child, whose name is being…