Tampa News Force
Breaking News
Controversy surrounding statue of brainless Kennedy in convertible on Kennedy Blvd
Conspiracy theory from the art world!
Sports
Tampa News Force Sports Analysts Break Down Lightning’s Loss to Calgary on “Pride Night”
Who’s right? Who’s wrong? 🏒🥅🌈
Arts and Entertainment
Busch Gardens Tampa announces birth of endangered orangutan, now it’s all they talk about
Are you excited to meet the new baby? 🦧
Government
Tampa to Replace Speed Limit Signs with Thumbs-Up Emoji
Slow down, speed up, whatever you want to do is fine!
Florida Prison Guard Unable to Afford Rent, Commits Crime to Sleep in Prison
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Local and Community
Babies Prohibited from Crying on Water Street
At least there’s one place in town you can go and enjoy peace and quiet 👶
A museum celebrating the history of strip clubs and fireworks opened in Largo yesterday to an enthusiastic crowd of locals. The state-of-the-art facility takes guests on an immersive tour through multiple corridors, beginning with a simulated cornfield in which the first fireworks were invented in 1832 China. Later in the tour, guests are introduced to…
The XFL’s Tampa Bay Vipers have rejected a trade with the NFL’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The proposal would have sent quarterback Jameis Winston to the Vipers in exchange for “future considerations”. “Could have been cash, draft picks, players. Whatever. That’s really not the part of the deal we were focused on,” says Bucs general manager…
The vagina This is one of the best places you can have sex in Tampa. Vaginas were meant for sex and reproduction, so when it comes to traditional-style sex, this is going to be your go to. Butthole It’s close to the vagina, and from what I’ve been told, it’s just as tight, if not…
In an effort to balance the population throughout the state of Florida, the Ybor City chamber of commerce has announced a drag queen exchange program. “As of the last survey, we found we have lots of drag queens,” says Mark Homphler, director of Ybor’s Department of Poorly Managed Statistics. “Wait; we have a whole bunch…
After his public shaming and firing from his future job, Tampa News Force acquired Shane Gillis as a full time writer. “It’s an honor to get the gig.” Gillis said. “I worked with one of the TNF co-founders a month ago at a comedy club in Tampa. I knew I was a perfect fit for…
After purchasing a majority of the property in Downtown Clearwater, the “church” of Scientology has taken over the local government and installed Tom Cruise as the permanent mayor of the city. “We love this part of Florida because it’s easy to kidnap people and force them to work for us in exchange for a place…
A man contacted the police after a cigar that he purchased from an Ybor cigar shop turned out to be a petrified piece of excrement. It was included in a pack of “Randos,” which are random leftover cigars packed together in a variety and sold for five dollars are Nathans Cigar Mart on 16th street.…
In an effort to control mosquito and lovebug populations, Tampa International Airport (TPA) has announced they have developed a new chemtrail formula that they hope will combat and eradicate the bugs once and for all. “Dozens of planes fly in and out of here every day,” said TPA spokesperson Wally Wingnut. “Our old chemtrail formula…
Hillsborough County Sheriff Chad Chronister announced the arrest of Joseph Lightfoot, a stay at home dad of triplets, for the destruction of state property. Lightfoot was seen returning a plasma cutter to the Home Depot rental center on North Dale Mabry Highway shortly after the traffic signal box at the corner of Mapledale Blvd and…
While attempting to drink at all 57 breweries located throughout the Hillsborough, Pasco, and Pinellas counties, Greg Cleveland died from alcohol poisoning at the 50th stop. “It was always his dream to drink at every brewery, all within one day.” Cried his best friend who actually completed the full 57 brewery tour. “I didn’t want…