Tampa News Force
Breaking News
Controversy surrounding statue of brainless Kennedy in convertible on Kennedy Blvd
Conspiracy theory from the art world!
Sports
NFL Approves Enhanced Head Injury Prevention Measure
Something that makes players safe AND more adorable sounds pretty good 🏈
Arts and Entertainment
Busch Gardens Tampa announces birth of endangered orangutan, now it’s all they talk about
Are you excited to meet the new baby? 🦧
Government
Tampa to Replace Speed Limit Signs with Thumbs-Up Emoji
Slow down, speed up, whatever you want to do is fine!
Local and Community
Babies Prohibited from Crying on Water Street
At least there’s one place in town you can go and enjoy peace and quiet 👶
One Bus Place – Hillsborough County – Tuesday, 7.30.19 Having completed their pre-season scouting reports on all 32 NFL teams, theologians agree that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers have “a snowball’s chance in hell” of winning Super Bowl LIV, to be played in Miami next February. As bleak as that prospect seems taken at face value,…
St. Nicholas Church – Wesley Chapel The St. Nicholas Church of Westley Chapel has come under scrutiny after their pastor has started blessing patrons’ guns during his Sunday services. Deacon Klenn Michaels, the head pastor who has been preaching at St. Nick’s for over 15 years, just recently had the idea to begin blessing guns. …
You can look to the stars for guidance, but make sure there isn’t any oncoming traffic you are about to walk into. Leo Hey you! Yeah you. Just shut up already. You talk entirely too much. Virgo You are very virtuous. Virtuous is boring. Go crazy. Let your inner floozy shine! Libra Much the opposite…
Tastee’s Diner – Carrollwood – Sunday, 7.23.19 A new swingers buffet opened in Carrollwood and it’s sent the neighborhood in a tizzy. Yum Yum’s Happy Diner a.k.a. “Tastee’s Diner” has opened its first franchise in Tampa, and they’ve chosen Carrollwood due to its promiscuous nature. Carrollwood locals are intrigued because they love the idea of…
American Gun & Pawn – Hernando County – Sunday, 7.28.19 Hello Hernando County Commissioner, Steve Champion. My name is Josh Santos, I’m a reporter for Tampa News Force. As you very well know, you’ve blocked me. Many people are mad that you don’t care about silencing your critics, but I get it. I was kind…
Hillsborough County Public Administration – Hillsborough County – Saturday, 7.27 Hillsborough County employs nearly 10,000 people in over 500 different positions and from now on, each of those employees will be assigned to individual tax-paying county residents. “I got the idea when I was sitting outside the County Center eating a ham sandwich for lunch,”…
Oxford Exchange – Hillsborough County – 7.26.19 The Oxford Exchange is now offering a free small cup of coffee to anyone who shows their breasts. As part of a promotion for national breast health awareness month, the community dining co-op will now allow patrons the opportunity to present their mammaries in exchange for a gratis…
Rick Scott Tampa Office – Hillsborough County – Friday, 7.26.19 After a recent hard knock to the head, Senator Rick Scott has decided there is more to life than having immeasurable wealth. “I found happiness through defrauding taxpayers with a Medicaid scam that made me a millionaire,” said Scott who used his fraud money to…
Teaser’s Gentlemen’s Club – Hillsborough County – Thursday, 7.25.19 Nebraska avenue strip club, Teasers, has earned the status of national historic landmark this week, making its structure safe from demolition, with a guarantee from the city to keep its architecture intact for at least another 200 years. Teasers, the unassuming local strip club which has…
Clearwater Beach – Pinellas County – Wednesday, 7.24.19 In response to numerous reports of people contracting flesh-eating bacteria at beaches along Florida’s west coast and how those reports could negatively impact the tourist industry, the state’s convention and visitors bureau is adding “fun” flavors to the Gulf of Mexico’s water. “Coming into contact with Necrotizing…