Tampa News Force
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Breaking News
Controversy surrounding statue of brainless Kennedy in convertible on Kennedy Blvd
Conspiracy theory from the art world!
Sports
Tampa News Force Sports Analysts Break Down Lightning’s Loss to Calgary on “Pride Night”
Who’s right? Who’s wrong? 🏒🥅🌈
Arts and Entertainment
Busch Gardens Tampa announces birth of endangered orangutan, now it’s all they talk about
Are you excited to meet the new baby? 🦧
Government
Tampa to Replace Speed Limit Signs with Thumbs-Up Emoji
Slow down, speed up, whatever you want to do is fine!
Florida Prison Guard Unable to Afford Rent, Commits Crime to Sleep in Prison
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Local and Community
Babies Prohibited from Crying on Water Street
At least there’s one place in town you can go and enjoy peace and quiet 👶
At a press conference held yesterday at the TradeWinds Island Resort in St. Petersburg Beach for the sake of making this story qualify as “local”, Baby Yoda made an appeal for peace, directed primarily at people participating in demonstrations taking place around the world in recent days. “The Child” is the breakout character on the Disney…
Merchant hopes protests in Tampa Bay don’t become destructive or violent, but especially destructive
Bill Woodsworth, owner of the Koffee Konnection Kafe in downtown Tampa, is concerned that protests scheduled to take place this weekend in the Tampa Bay Area could result in trauma and property damage. “Of course people have the right to gather and voice their concerns. There’s no question about that, especially regarding a serious social…
Ybor City’s Spaghetti Warehouse, which closed prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, remains one of the local businesses that has yet to re-open in spite of restrictions being lifted, but management hopes for good news soon. “It’s been difficult, being closed all this time,” says manager Domino Papajohn. “Hopefully word will come down from the governor’s…
The Tampa Bay area is home to many titles. We’ve got some good ones, Best beaches, best resorts, and some less than stellar like most depressed. But this week we take on a title we have truly earned, most boob sweat. That’s right! Tampa Bay is now ranked #1 in the nation for sweaty fucking…
Studies show that people who are wearing a mask in Florida, can’t breathe. It seems like a lot of people around the country can’t breathe for a variety of reasons. Should we be forcing people into not breathing by wearing a mask in heavily air-conditioned buildings? Stores that force customers to wear a mask might…
A Tampa-area Publix has announced that they have fired every employee named “Karen” as a defensive measure in case one of them went on a racist tirade against a customer. “We’ve seen the videos online, I don’t want that happening in my store,” said store manager Poner Bopper. “We have a lot of J****e and…
Hillsborough County officials confirmed today that they have finalized the permit requirements that will allow the online retail giant, Amazon, to build a first-of-its-kind drive-thru superstore on a busy Tampa highway. “We are a future focused company and this idea will allow us to burn a ton of money in an effort to make it…
The leading internet porn powerhouse is teaming up with the largest physical retailer in the country in an exclusive deal which will see PornHub merchandise available for sale in Tampa-area Walmarts. “This deal was a long time coming,” said Walmart spokesperson Emerald Lagassé, an older Italian gentleman wearing a PornHub shirt who is in no…
People that hope to fulfill their fantasy of having a family they can have sex with will finally be a few clicks away from making their wet dreams come true. “We base all of our decisions entirely on popular PornHub keywords,” said Zillow spokesperson, Moe Horshit. “We saw an opportunity to capitalize on some of…
In a classic case of not knowing the difference between Memorial Day and Veterans Day or family members not keeping in close contact, or both, Tampa News Force’s Clark Brooks, who was not killed serving our nation, or at all for that matter, was memorialized for his brave sacrifice while serving in the military by…