Tampa News Force
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Breaking News
Controversy surrounding statue of brainless Kennedy in convertible on Kennedy Blvd
Conspiracy theory from the art world!
Sports
NFL Approves Enhanced Head Injury Prevention Measure
Something that makes players safe AND more adorable sounds pretty good 🏈
Arts and Entertainment
Busch Gardens Tampa announces birth of endangered orangutan, now it’s all they talk about
Are you excited to meet the new baby? 🦧
Government
Florida Women to Legally Be Considered Property
Hey fellas, are you looking to get one of these things? 👶
Local and Community
Babies Prohibited from Crying on Water Street
At least there’s one place in town you can go and enjoy peace and quiet 👶
A group of three concerned St. Petersburg residents, led by Gretchyn Flitchet, a self-unemployable kombucha enthusiast, is planning to boycott Ron’s Raw Dogs, a restaurant specializing in uncooked sausage products in Port Richey. The owner of the restaurant, Ron Blubgart, recently posted an angry tirade on the Ron’s Raw Dogs Facebook page, calling out several…
During a drunken outing with Congressman Matt Gaetz, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis was egged on into rapping the Oscar-award winning Eminem song, “Lose Yourself”. “I’ve seen that movie ‘8 Mile’ like a thousand times,” said Jimmy Jordan, a drunken crowd member who was at the same bar Gaetz and DeSantis passed through during their recent…
At the end of July, Kanye West will be releasing a new track which is to feature both President Trump and Joe Biden. It’s poised to be the hottest song of the decade. Alas, a song so important, Apple released a push notification which took precedence over Amber and weather alerts alike. Never in the…
Roger Stone’s prison commute has swingers clubs around Tampa rejoicing as one of their most distinguished guests has avoided criminal punishment. “We can’t wait to have him back!” Said Joe Slurpo, head of customer service at Slurpo’s Lounge in Brandon. “Him and his partner are very loving, fun, people, and it’s just a great time…
RightWingerSlingers.com a self-deemed alt-right website has gotten the phrase “Covid condoms” to trend globally after constantly referring to medical masks with the phrase. Over 5 billion posts on social media platforms have been posted using the term “Covid condoms” and the CDC does not like it. “It’s extremely counterproductive and is sending the wrong message…
A new bill has been presented in congress which would require citizens to wear a mask while unconscious, including all sleep-related activities. The law would prevent any legal form of sleep without a mask on, even on vacations or in different countries. “If you are a U.S. citizen you will have to wear a mask…
Protestors are set to march towards Brooksville’s famous Hanging Tree located in front of the Downtown Courthouse as part of the Klan Lives Matter Rally. “We are tired of the persecution and we want cops to stop killing us,” said Ike Ford, a Florida Klansmen and organizer of the event. “This rally is about what…
Wesley Chapel business owner, Clive Whitman, has attended the Coke Zero Sugar 400 every year for the past 18 years. Up until the schedule change for 2020, the race would run on 4th of July weekend with a fireworks display after the unique Saturday night race making it the most patriotic of the season. Clive…
To celebrate the reopening of the historical Tampa Theatre, one of America’s most elaborate movie palaces will have a one-time only screening of the fabled butthole cut of the infamous 2019 remake of ‘Cats’. “As a registered nonprofit, we have to do everything we can to bounce back from this one,” said Theatre manager Casper…
Tampa Bay Area residents should not be concerned at all about the six refrigerated containers recently staged at the Hillsborough County Medical Examiners Office on North 46th Street. “I know that with what’s going on with the pandemic that the sudden presence of giant refrigerators, suitable for the temporary storage of a number of dead…